Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 13 Adar, 5785

Good morning! There is a lot of shifting energies around us.  If you are feeling it – you are not alone.

The greatest energy right now is designed to give us a choice – to see our humanity or to reject it. So much around us is convincing us to dehumanize others – specifically CREATING the concept of “the other.”

Today’s Torah portion highlights the idea of the 13 Attributes of Mercy.  From Hashem.

As we enter into Purim tonight – we learn about Haman – who dehumanized an entire group of people to the point he could not see how the people were connected to the Queen. That did not work out so well for him.

We have a choice – to see “the other” as a part of us – as part of our humanity – as connected to our soul.

Or? Distance ourselves from our own humanity. See “the other” as inhuman. A non-playable character in a video game. And this is the choice.

I leave us today with what I shared a year ago.

How? How do we fight for our own humanity?

Rabbi Moses Cordovero about how to emulate this in our relationships.  These are affirmations he uses to show us:

1. 1. I always give, even if the recipients will use what I give them to spite me.
   2. I am tolerant of everyone–however long it takes- until they awaken.
   3. I will help others to heal themselves. Their healing matters to me.
   4. I feel for other people’s suffering like my own.
   5. I will dissolve my anger when it is hurting a relationship.
   6. I will always focus on the good in others.
   7. I always make sure that a fixed relationship is better than it was before it broke.
   8. I have already overcome the human tendency towards negativity. I see only good in others.
   9. I do not rejoice even in the suffering of the very wicked. I try to find compassion for them.
   10. I do not judge others because I can never know their limitations. Instead, I have compassion for all God’s children.
   11. I treasure people of exceptional piety and go out of my way to help them.
   12. When I cannot see good in a person, “I remember the good done by his ancestors.”
   13. If I cannot find any merits in a person’s ancestors, I imagine him at the time he was an innocent baby and have mercy on him.

There is a lot here.

And? This does not mean we are doormats. We can have boundaries – to protect our humanity. Our goodness. Our hearts. Our souls.

All of us have experienced our minds getting in the way of our hearts. We can see how that plays out in others. How we walk down this road? Is how we live out our humanity.

What are your thoughts?

Here are my thoughts from a year ago:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 20 Adar 1, 5784
Parsha Ki-Tissa: (Exodus 30:11 – 34:35)
Fifth Portion: Exodus 34:1 – 34:9

Good morning!  Yesterday we learned about Hashem passing before us – and going before us. Do we receive what He is doing in each moment, or do we fight to resist it?  This is the energy we approach the portion today:

1And the Lord said to Moses: “Hew for yourself two stone tablets like the first ones. And I will inscribe upon the tablets the words that were on the first tablets, which you broke.

2Be prepared for the morning, and in the morning you shall ascend Mount Sinai and stand before Me there on the top of the mountain.

3No one shall ascend with you, neither shall anyone be seen anywhere on the mountain, neither shall the sheep and the cattle graze facing that mountain.”

4So he [Moses] hewed two stone tablets like the first ones, and Moses arose early in the morning and ascended Mount Sinai as the Lord had commanded him, and he took two stone tablets in his hand.

5And the Lord descended in the cloud and stood with him there, and He called out in the name of the Lord.

Hashem had mercy on Moses and the people and basically gave Moses a “do over” here, right? That’s interesting.  Despite everything that went on, we (the children of Israel) got a second chance.  This is Mercy.  And immediately after, we get the famous passage of the Torah that lays out the 13 attributes of mercy:

6And the Lord passed before him and proclaimed: Lord, Lord, benevolent God, Who is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abundant in loving kindness and truth,

7preserving loving kindness for thousands, forgiving iniquity and rebellion and sin; yet He does not completely clear [of sin] He visits the iniquity of parents on children and children’s children, to the third and fourth generations.”

So – where are the 13 attributes? This article breaks it down so much better than I could:

My thoughts are the 13 are connected here like this:

1. Hashem is benevolent
2. Hashem is compassionate
3. Hashem is gracious
4. Hashem is slow to anger
5. Hashem is abundance
6. Hashem is loving kindness
7. Hashem is truth
8. Hashem preserves loving kindness
9. Hashem preserves loving kindness for us
10. Hashem forgives iniquity
11. Hashem forgives rebellion
12. Hashem forgives sin
13. Hashem is Justice

This is just my take. The question of “how” Hashem forgives and provides justice is something to reflect on. I feel this with my kids.

When one child hurts another? If I show mercy to the kid who hurt the other? What message does that send to the child who was hurt? If I mete out justice for the purpose of loving the child who suffered from the hurt? How can I show mercy to the one who transgressed? That seems like a super tall order, doesn’t it?

This seems like the struggle. And, yes, Christian friends, I know this is where you see Jesus playing a part. And. As a Jew? Hashem didn’t NEED someone to do this. Hashem didn’t need Jesus to take care of this. He was ALREADY doing this. How do we know this?

The Torah does NOT say – “In the future” or “When Messiah comes.”  No. He spoke with Moses and Moses recognized Hashem for the rest of us.

So let’s chew on how we balance mercy and justice as parents with our kids? Anyone have creative solutions to this?  What is Moses’ response?

8And Moses hastened, bowed his head to the ground and prostrated himself,

9and said: “If I have now found favor in Your eyes, O Lord, let the Lord go now in our midst [even] if they are a stiff necked people, and You shall forgive our iniquity and our sin and thus secure us as Your possession.”

I think the answer here might be – we show mercy – and trust Hashem (the Universe) to work out Justice and Mercy in a way that makes sense BEYOND our understanding. Just my thoughts. What are yours?

I wanted to close with this from Rabbi Moses Cordovero about how to emulate this in our relationships.  These are affirmations he uses to show us:

1. I always give, even if the recipients will use what I give them to spite me.
2. I am tolerant of everyone–however long it takes- until they awaken.
3. I will help others to heal themselves. Their healing matters to me.
4. I feel for other people’s suffering like my own.
5. I will dissolve my anger when it is hurting a relationship.
6. I will always focus on the good in others.
7. I always make sure that a fixed relationship is better than it was before it broke.
8. I have already overcome the human tendency towards negativity. I see only good in others.
9. I do not rejoice even in the suffering of the very wicked. I try to find compassion for them.
10. I do not judge others because I can never know their limitations. Instead, I have compassion for all God’s children.
11. I treasure people of exceptional piety and go out of my way to help them.
12. When I cannot see good in a person, “I remember the good done by his ancestors.”
13. If I cannot find any merits in a person’s ancestors, I imagine him at the time he was an innocent baby and have mercy on him.

I love this as a path to forgiveness. ESPECIALLY that last one. When we beat ourselves up – because let’s be honest, the least mercy we have? Towards ourselves. Considering if we see we have no merits? Can we imagine ourselves as a baby? Can we have mercy on ourselves then?