Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 13 Cheshvan, 5784
Parsha Lekh Lekha: (Genesis 12:1 -17:27) 
Seventh Portion: Genesis 17:7 – 17:27

Shabbat Shalom! As we finish Lekh Lekha (go for yourself) – we are left with the sign of the covenant.  Circumcision.  This very physical act connects us to emotional and spiritual circumcisions that release us and let us go from the tethers that keep us stuck. If we truly want to “go for ourselves” we must circumcise the past and be in a moment – even if there is pain.  The pain we experience IS the circumcision of freedom.  So if we feel pain – know it is for the purpose of freedom.  Release from what is keeping us stuck.

If we BECOME the pain? We are just foreskin. Nothing. We aren’t the pain. We are meant to FEEL the pain – and that pain circumcises us from the past. It’s the process of freedom.  Let’s read (Genesis 17:7-11):

7And I will establish My covenant between Me and between you and between your seed after you throughout their generations as an everlasting covenant, to be to you for a God and to your seed after you.

8And I will give you and your seed after you the land of your sojournings, the entire land of Canaan for an everlasting possession, and I will be to them for a God.”

9And God said to Abraham, “And you shall keep My covenant, you and your seed after you throughout their generations.

10This is My covenant, which you shall observe between Me and between you and between your seed after you, that every male among you be circumcised.

11And you shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin, and it shall be as the sign of a covenant between Me and between you.

12And at the age of eight days, every male shall be circumcised to you throughout your generations, one that is born in the house, or one that is purchased with money, from any foreigner, who is not of your seed.

13Those born in the house and those purchased for money shall be circumcised, and My covenant shall be in your flesh as an everlasting covenant.

I’ve written about this previously (see below).  This pain isn’t just about us. It’s for those around us as well.  It’s not limited. Circumcision is for everyone. And. The truth is? We don’t HAVE to be circumcised. We have choice. We have agency.

And – why do we circumcise at 8 days? Because as parents, we have a responsibility. Our children our the responsibility Hashem has entrusted us to.  Our kids are designed to be FREE.  And the act of circumcision? It demonstrates we can separate out ourselves and our children. Differentiation (as I mentioned before).

The emotional and spiritual circumcision will come later with our kids. But the physical act sets us on a path.  Let’s keep going:

14And an uncircumcised male, who will not circumcise the flesh of his foreskin-that soul will be cut off from its people; he has broken My covenant.”

This sounds REALLY harsh.  Like a penalty almost. I am reflecting on this.  It may not be.  It may be more “natural consequences.”  Think about it.  If we are UNWILLING to circumcise ourselves (emotionally, spiritually) – we are saying “the foreskin is me. I am the foreskin.”  We cannot be foreskin and belong to a community that has no foreskin.

Taking this emotionally – we cannot belong to a people who have let go of their past, who have circumcised their emotional foreskin that protects them – and live lives of vulnerability with that community if we are banking on BEING the foreskin itself. Avoiding pain to hold onto it. To not release it.    To IDENTIFY as the trauma. The pain.

Trauma is a foreskin. If we react to the trauma by hardening the foreskin (or becoming the trauma/foreskin) and not cutting it off, the longer it goes, the more challenging it will be to cut it off in order to be free. The more PAINFUL it will be.

So I wonder. 8 days.

I wonder if the Torah is being prescriptive here. When we suffer emotional trauma, we are to experience it for 8 days. But then, after 8 days? Cut it out. Be free. And. Feel the pain associated with the cutting off the trauma – and allowing the pain to heal. And that pain could last years. However, I think the length of pain will coincide in the length of time we allow the trauma/foreskin to harden.  A painful 20 year marriage with continual trauma? 20 years of foreskin to cut off and navigate the pain. We can certainly numb the pain – we have vices to do so. Food. Sex. Alcohol. Drugs. Addiction.  All to numb the pain of the foreskin being cut off.

And maybe?  Maybe we don’t get the choice?  Because maybe 8 days after the trauma, Hashem CUTS the trauma/foreskin off us, and the rest of the process moving forward is dealing with the pain of the cut off foreskin?  I don’t know.  But I feel like there is a lot here.  We either feel the pain and heal, or numb the pain and allow the wound to fester and get infected?

This may be the path to spiritual freedom and liberation.  Let’s keep going:

15And God said to Abraham, “Your wife Sarai-you shall not call her name Sarai, for Sarah is her name.

16And I will bless her, and I will give you a son from her, and I will bless her, and she will become [a mother of] nations; kings of nations will be from her. “

17And Abraham fell on his face and rejoiced, and he said to himself, “Will [a child] be born to one who is a hundred years old, and will Sarah, who is ninety years old, give birth?”

18And Abraham said to God, “If only Ishmael will live before You!”

19And God said, “Indeed, your wife Sarah will bear you a son, and you shall name him Isaac, and I will establish My covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his seed after him.

20And regarding Ishmael, I have heard you; behold I have blessed him, and I will make him fruitful, and I will multiply him exceedingly; he will beget twelve princes, and I will make him into a great nation.

21But My covenant I will establish with Isaac, whom Sarah will bear to you at this time next year.”

Hashem tells Abraham – if Abraham does this, Hashem promises blessings and miracles. Ishmael was born with the foreskin attached. Cut off the foreskin, Isaac will be born. To Sarah – who will become “princess of all.”

No judgement here. Abraham was worried about Ishmael.  Ishmael isn’t broken. He isn’t dirty. He’s the seed of Abraham.  What is born of trauma is beautiful.  And. What is born of health is beautiful too.  The difference now? We are given agency. We are given a choice. Will we, in this moment, create our realities from our foreskin identity? Or will we cut our emotional foreskin off and create from a place of healing?

This is fascinating (in my opinion).

And what did Abraham do in response?

22And He finished speaking with him, and God went up from above Abraham.

23And Abraham took Ishmael his son and all those born in his house and all those purchased with his money, every male of the people of Abraham’s household, and he circumcised the flesh of their foreskin on that very day, as God had spoken with him.

24And Abraham was ninety-nine years old, when he was circumcised of the flesh of his foreskin.

25And Ishmael his son was thirteen years old, when he was circumcised of the flesh of his foreskin.

26On that very day, Abraham was circumcised, and [so was] Ishmael his son.

27And all the people of his household, those born in his house and those bought with money from foreigners, were circumcised with him.

Pain. Abraham listened to Hashem.  And cut off EVERYONE’S foreskin.  Imagine the pain.  And this is the path to spiritual healing, freedom and liberation.

Go for yourself. Our foreskins have been circumcised by Hashem. Emotionally we have the choice to allow ourselves to experience the pain and heal, or numb ourselves; distract ourselves from the pain and stay stuck.

What are your thoughts?

Here is my commentary from the past two years:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 11 Cheshvan, 5783

Shabbat Shalom! As we come towards the full moon this week, and we shine bright, hoping our intentions set with the new moon begin to fully take form, I’m hoping all of us are grounded in love!

As I read todays portion, and reflect on my writings a year ago, I see how they were grounded in the physical.

As I reread the passage in the context of freedom and liberation, I see the circumcision as something like the cutting of a tether. Imagining a hot air balloon tethered to the ground. To the physical. The idea of circumcising is a “cutting off” the tether or binding. It’s a freeing thing – from a biological perspective.

What currently tethers us that keeps us from our own spiritual liberation? Is it a practice or tradition that creates a ceiling for our spiritual growth? Let me be clear; a practice or tradition that is not in the Torah is very different than a mitzvah in the Torah. There are plenty of examples of this.

But what holds us back?

That’s what I’m chewing on today!

What about you?

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 10 Heshvan, 5872

Shabbat Shalom!

Today concludes Parsha Lekh Lekha, and we start by focusing on the covenant Hashem made with Abraham and his descendants – as an “everlasting” covenant.

I use quotation marks there because the word is important. I’m not sure we can go forward without an examination of this word. Because if the covenant is “everlasting” the covenant exists today. If that covenant is not REALLY everlasting, then the covenant does NOT exist today.

This leaves me (us) with some REALLY critical questions:

1. Do we believe this covenant still exists today?
2. If it does exist, do we believe Hashem honors his part of the covenant (regardless of what the covenant or terms of the covenant are)? Or do we believe he has broken his promises of the covenant?
3. Do we believe Hashem made this covenant with us (me)? Do I consider myself a “descendant of Abraham?”
4. If we believe the covenant exists today, and we believe Hashem has kept his part of the covenant, and this covenant applies to us- what is our role in this covenant that still exists today?

I think these four questions need firm internal answers.

And it’s ok if you believe the answer to these questions are more “no” then “yes.” I’m not here to judge. I’m more here sharing my journey. I will say, as a continuum, I’m more towards yes than no on these questions, and I’m more yes than no than I was a year ago, five years ago, ten years ago.

Then we dig into the covenant of circumcision; I won’t go into details other than the circumcision was the sign that Abraham (and his descendants – us) accepted the covenant between him (and us) and Hashem.

What is ALSO interesting about circumcision is that even those not directly descended from Abraham (like those we bought and kept as slaves – yes; Jews owned slaves way back in the day) were ALSO to be circumcised.

Those who were NOT circumcised were cut off from their people. When they reached the age of liability – 13.

Once Hashem finishes with telling Abraham what he needs to do to honor the covenant (circumcision), he turns and focuses on the women;

He tells Abraham that he shouldn’t call Sarai by that name any more; he should call her Sarah – why is this significant?

The Talmud teaches that although Sarai and Sarah both mean “princess” Sarai means “my princess.” Initially Sarai was a sovereign only of her own people. Sarah on the other hand, simply means “princess,” without limiting her to a particular nation or region. This indicates an expanded, universal influence.

I’ll dare add my own opinion here. When Abraham was using the name “Sarai,” he was literally calling Sarai “my princess.” That could be a positive thing, but it could also indicate possessiveness. Like Abram may have been thinking he owned her; she was his property. When in reality, Sarah was princess to all; and didn’t belong to Abraham or anyone else. Again; just a thought. Curious as to what others think! Especially those of you who identify as female; your opinion is really important because I read these passages with my male lens.

Beyond changing Sarah’s name, Hashem makes some promises:

1. Hashem will bless Sarah
2. Hashem will have Sarah bear a son
3. Sarah will become (the mother of) nations
4. Kings will be born from her.

That’s a pretty tall blessing To be honest.

Abraham then hesitates here, and it’s interesting. Because Abraham worries about Ishmael. But Hashem is faithful;

1. He tells Abraham that Isaac with be the bearer of the covenant, along with Isaac’s descendants.
2. He tells Abraham not to worry, Ishmael will be good. Ishmael was promised the following:
   • Ishmael will be fruitful and numerous
   • Twelve princes will be born to Ishmael and they will be a great nation.

Then, Hashem ascended from Abraham. So basically Hashem came down and spoke to Abraham directly. How amazing is that?

And we close the passage with Abraham’s response:

Abraham circumcised EVERYONE!!! Including Ishmael. (Ouch). Ishmael was 13 when this happened. Abraham was 99. There wasn’t a lot of pain relief, and in fact the pain was part of the covenant.

What are YOUR thoughts? Any ideas or things in your brain triggered?

Haftorah Thoughts:

Haftorah Thoughts for 10 Heshvan, 5782

Today’s Haftorah is from Isaiah 40:27-41:16 – it refers us to Abraham’s victory over the four kings.

The first part of the Haftorah is really encouraging. It starts with a complaint Hashem has heard from his people (and I include myself in this complaint);

“My way of serving God has been hidden from and ignored by God, and my judgement passes I rewarded from my God.”

How many of us have lodged this complaint? Guilty.

But the response is kind and compassionate; full of hope;

“don’t you know from your own mind, even if you have not heard from your teachers, that God is an everlasting God, the Creator of the entire world from end to end? He does not become tired or weary and fluctuate in His performance.”

Whoa. That last part hits me. I think I often project my own “fluctuation in my performance” onto Hashem. Without a doubt. Hashem does not fluctuate. But I do. And I think I sometimes believe he must because I do. Hashem does NOT fluctuate in his performance.

Isaiah continues; “So your reward will definitely come, but there is no comprehension of His wisdom as to why He delays it.”

This morning I was in a “battle” with my youngest daughter about breakfast. We have a tradition on Shabbat to do “special” cereal (we normally don’t do sugar cereal but to make Shabbat something the girls look forward to, we allow them one day to enjoy the sugar cereal). We wait for the four youngest girls to wake up before serving it though, because we want to also teach patience.

This morning three of the girls woke up relatively early. But the youngest wasn’t having it. I kept trying to explain what was happening, but her brain couldn’t comprehend it.

I made her a deal and said if her sister wasn’t awake when I was finished Davening, I would get the cereal out anyway. She walked away but was still being impatient. Mind you she wasn’t hungry because she already had a bagel with cream cheese, and a banana.

While Davening, right as I was about to finish (I just had two prayers left) she went into her sisters room and woke her up. So I stopped Davening and explained to her the consequence would be that I would set a timer and she’d have to wait for cereal while everyone else got to eat it as soon as I was finished Davening.

She wasnt having it. We had some good discussion on the difference between hunger and craving (for a three year old); but she delayed me finishing Davening by an extra 20 minutes. I kept explaining to her that she was working against her best self interests. We worked through it, she calmed herself, and i was able to finish Davening. She accepted the reality, let me set the timer, and when the timer went off she got the biggest smile.

It’s a good lesson here. We want that cereal- but we don’t want to wait. But the reward is coming, and Hashem is trustworthy- more so that we are. He doesn’t fluctuate. We do.

I really encourage you to read the rest of the Haftorah because it is a lot of encouragement. Towards the end, Isaiah writes this;

“But you, Israel, are not like them (the nations who worship idols) because you are My servants! Children of Jacob! I chose you to be My people because you are the descendants of Abraham, who loved Me and separated from idol-worship. In the future I will grasp you from the corners of the earth and call to release you from the control of its powerful people. I told you, “You are My servant,” from the time that I have chosen you, and I have not despised you.

Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not turn away thinking I have abandoned you, because I am your God, as I have always been. I strengthened you with positive words of comfort, I helped you from the very beginning.”

Wow. Just wow.

Today- where are you needing Hashem’s word of comfort? Where are you needing a reminder that Hashem does not fluctuate in His performance?

The Haftorah closes with this; “For I am God, your God, who takes hold of your right hand, and says to you; ‘Don’t fear, I will help you,’ so you can rely on My word.”

There is a visual there that I think we need to remember. When my three year old is struggling, and i reach out to hold her hand (if I’m taking her right hand, I’ll use my left hand) there is a visual there that brings a lot of comfort. The left hand of Hashem takes hold of our right hand and says “do not fear. I will help you.” Do you believe this? Or not? That is one last important question to ask (and answer) for ourselves.