Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 14 Cheshvan, 5784
Parsha Va-Yera’: (Genesis 18:1-22:24) 
First Portion: Genesis 18:1-18:15

We have a new Parsha today! Va-Yera’ – which means “and he appeared.”

So we have left Lekh Lekha – “go for yourself” by the circumcision of our physical bodies, our emotions, and our souls.  We have fully cut off the foreskin and accept the reality and exposed the vulnerability of who we are.

And then?

He appears.

Hashem appears.

Let’s dig in.  The context here is (likely) 3 days after Abraham circumcised everyone. There is a lot of pain. There is healing. There is pain. More healing. It’s a process. And then (from Genesis 18:1-2)?

1Now the Lord appeared to him in the plains of Mamre, and he was sitting at the entrance of the tent when the day was hot.

2And he lifted his eyes and saw, and behold, three men were standing beside him, and he saw and he ran toward them from the entrance of the tent, and he prostrated himself to the ground.

Again.  Catch this. Hashem appeared to Abraham as he was healing. Sitting at the entrance on a hot day.  Then? Abraham sees “three men were standing beside him, and he saw and he ran toward them from the entrance of the tent, and he prostrated himself to the ground.”

This is confusing, isn’t it? It does not make a lot of sense.

The sequence of events seems to look as follows:

1. Hashem appears to Abraham
2. Abraham and Hashem were sitting by the entrance of the tent.
3. Three men stood beside Abraham
4. Abraham ran towards them and prostrated himself before them

Um. If the men were standing next to Abraham, how could he run towards him?

I have some new thoughts.  If you read the commentary below I wrote two years ago, you can read more about what some Rabbis have said.

Here’s what might have happened.

1. Abraham circumcises himself and everyone with him
2. Three days later, Hashem appears WITHIN Abraham – almost like Abraham connected with his Neshama. After the circumcision, Abraham was able to connect with the Neshama – that Hashem put in him (remember he gave Abram a new name by putting a letter of Hashem into Abram’s name?)
3. By connecting with his Neshama, Abraham had a vision of the three men standing beside him. “He lifted his eyes” may refer to “seeing” within his head – Hashem appeared to Abraham in his heart, the three men appeared in his head.  He went from heart/soul, to body, to an external reality.
4. His mind then caused action – he ran to the men and fell at their feet.

It’s almost a beautiful cycle, isn’t it? Something happens to us externally – trauma.  We get stuck and cannot heal from the trauma until we circumcise our hearts. We let go of the foreskin. Hashem appears within. He heals us. We now see things in a much different way. We take action. Sometimes that action hurts; sometimes it heals more. And we repeat this cycle. Get in touch with the spirit within.

That makes sense – at least to me.  Let’s keep going. We see now – Abraham moves from focusing on his external pain to serving others. He becomes hospitable.  From Genesis 18:3-8:

3And he said, “My lords, if only I have found favor in your eyes, please do not pass on from beside your servant.

4Please let a little water be taken, and bathe your feet, and recline under the tree.

5And I will take a morsel of bread, and sustain your hearts; after[wards] you shall pass on, because you have passed by your servant.” And they said, “So shall you do, as you have spoken.”

6And Abraham hastened to the tent to Sarah, and he said, “Hasten three seah of meal [and] fine flour; knead and make cakes.”

7And to the cattle did Abraham run, and he took a calf, tender and good, and he gave it to the youth, and he hastened to prepare it.

8And he took cream and milk and the calf that he had prepared, and he placed [them] before them, and he was standing over them under the tree, and they ate.

Abraham was entertaining angels. And – as I wrote before; how hospitable are we? Do we allow ourselves to entertain angels? Or do we worry about our mess? Read more below if you want to dig deeper into that.

Finally – the Angels turn from Abraham and focus on his wife, Sarah:

9And they said to him, “Where is Sarah your wife?” And he said, “Behold in the tent.”

10And he said, “I will surely return to you at this time next year, and behold, your wife Sarah will have a son.” And Sarah heard from the entrance of the tent, and it was behind him.

11Now Abraham and Sarah were old, coming on in years; Sarah had ceased to have the way of the women.

12And Sarah laughed within herself, saying, “After I have become worn out, will I have smooth flesh? And also, my master is old.”

13And the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh, saying, ‘Is it really true that I will give birth, although I am old?’

14Is anything hidden from the Lord? At the appointed time, I will return to you, at this time next year and Sarah will have a son.”

15And Sarah denied, saying, “I did not laugh,” because she was afraid. And He said, “No, but you laughed.”

And again, as I wrote in the past? A post-menopausal woman giving birth? You’d like laugh too.

And as I reflect on this; for my Christian friends; isn’t this almost the Yin to the story about Jesus being born’s Yang? Think about it. Isaac was basically born with no female egg. The egg was provided by Hashem Himself. Isaac is a miracle birth too -but in the masculine. Jesus was born without Joseph’s seed – the feminine.  Mary provided the egg, Hashem provided the seed.  Abraham provided the seed, Hashem provided the egg in Sarah.  There’s almost a poetry to it, isn’t there?

And this leaves me with a question for my Christian friends – and I am curious to your thoughts; Why is so much focused on the miracle of the birth of Jesus, but Isaac’s is COMPLETELY ignored?   Isaac is as much a miracle birth as Jesus was, right? Or what am I missing?

But maybe that will be revealed as we discuss the miracle birth of Isaac? Maybe the Torah will make it clearer for us this week.  Because EVEN THE NAME OF THE PARSHA would indicate “And He Appeared” – my Christian friends talk about Jesus being Hashem “appearing on the earth” and yet here we see “and He Appeared” with Isaac being born just as Miraculously.

Something to reflect on.

But let’s close with this.  I feel like we can add another layer to our learning about Spiritual Freedom and Liberation.  Let’s review what we’ve learned up to now in the Torah:

• The Path of Ascension begins with curiosity and not judgement
• If someone’s curiosity causes doubt and defensiveness, be curious about our own doubt and defensiveness and NOT their motives for curiosity.
• The tree of life is within us. Choose life within with curiosity and not judgment
• Learn to balance the comfort of stumbling, with the challenge of pushing ourselves towards spiritual growth.
• Let go of a stable life. Freedom is accepting “what is” as a blessing. We can’t control what happens. We can only navigate it with bitterness or flow.
• Freedom requires balance – emotions vs intellect, humility vs confidence, thinking as an individual while staying meaningfully connected to others.
• Freedom comes from expansion and not contraction – but contraction is important to the process of expansion

To live free, we must circumcise the foreskin of past trauma and feel the pain of healing so that our higher selves can appear to us, and we can co-create miraculous NEW life for us and others.

 There is no shortcut to this. We must feel the pain of healing. Any shortcut just protects the foreskin of past trauma. We don’t have numbing agents to make it easier. We must feel the pain to heal it.

What are your thoughts?

Here is my commentary from the past two years:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for Cheshvan 12, 5783

I am traveling back to Oneonta from West Chester, PA – my home as a child. It is fascinating how today’s portion talks about hospitality as the new Head of School of Westtown and his wife (who also graduated with us) hosted the first Friendsgiving for the Westtown Friends Class of 1990. It was a special time of the heart, and I believe angels were indeed entertained.

This was also my first ever Friendsgiving in my 51 years of life.   It was a great time, and continues to be a part of my healing journey!

The Torah is clear on how important hospitality is! May our weeks be blessed as Hashem welcomes us and shows us how to be hospitable!

Today’s Torah thoughts; Heshvan 11, 5782

We begin a new Parsha; Va-Yera’ which means “And He Appeared”

Going into this week, this was a good inspirational thought from the Torah book I am reading;

“Just as God revealed Himself to Abraham, He also reveals Himself to you (us). But you (we) need to learn how to discern the more subtle, contemporary forms of revelation, and to constantly beseech God that His revelations to you (us) be more overt.”

We start the passage 3 days after Abraham’s circumcision (according to the ancient writings).

Rashi writes that:

“God revealed Himself in order to visit the sick. It was the third day from Abraham’s circumcision, and God came to inquire about his welfare.” Nahmanides adds to this; “When God revealed Himself to Abraham, this healed him. The divine revelation was a cure of the sickness caused by his circumcision, as the verse (Proverbs 16:15) states “In the light of the King’s countenance there is light.”

While Hashem was with Abraham, three men (angels) appeared and Abraham jumped up immediately and ran towards them; seemingly interrupting his conversation with God. In the Torah I’m reading, the commentary discusses this in relation to hospitality and it’s importance. “Welcoming guests is greater than welcoming the Divine Presence.”

I’m chewing on this. As I daven in the morning the children will inevitably interrupt my time with Hashem (welcoming the divine presence). At first (and sometimes now) I’d get frustrated because the kids were interrupting my time with Hashem. When I spoke with my local Rabbi about this, he shared how the children are crucial and we don’t want to send the message to them that Davening is something for them to be afraid of, or associate negative thoughts with. My role as a father is to be a dad, and encourage their spiritual development. Being Hospitable to my kids is critical. That being said, Rabbi Meir also shared we need to teach the kids patience at the same time; asking for a cookie or snack is very different than asking for a diaper change.

The idea here is how crucial hospitality plays in our lives. We must be opening our lives and homes to others; for we may not know when we are entertaining angels.

Abraham was honored that these angels visited him. We try to host others in our home as much as we can. I often feel blessed and honored when the community around us comes into our home for a meal, dessert, or just to play. We are designed to be in community.

In addition, Rabbi Alexander Zusya Friedman of the 20th century writes about when Abraham rushed to Sarah’s tent to make bread; “Here we see the importance of acting quickly for your guests, especially when they are poor.”

The passage goes on and seems to contradict Kosher laws; Abraham serves Cream, Milk and Meat all at the same time.

One perspective is this:

Rashi writes “Abraham served them little by little, as each item was prepared he immediately brought it to them.” This is in line with current Kosher practice of serving Milk first and THEN meat.

Another is written about by Rabbi Jacob Culi; “He offered each of the angels either milk or meat…and he placed it in front of the angels so they could choose either dairy or meat. This was done in order to fulfill the sacred duty of hosting guests in the best possible fashion. No guest was served milk and meat simultaneously.”

Both are interesting perspectives.

And then the angels “pretended to eat.” Rashi points out that from this, we “learn that we should not deviate from the local custom.”

Then the angels said to him (Abraham) “where is Sarah your wife?” Rashi points out in the Torah scroll “there are dots inscribed above three of the Hebrew letters to “to him” that spell out “Where is he?” This hints to the fact that in addition to asking Abraham as to Sarah’s whereabouts, the angels also questioned Sarah, “Where is Abraham?” Form this we should learn that a person should always inquire from his host about his hostess and from his hostess about his host.”

All of this to set up the major moment. Sarah was at the entrance to the tent. One of the angels spoke out loud; “I will be returning to you at this time next year, and then, your wife Sarah will have a son.”

Now, the Torah is clear; Sarah has stopped having her cycle. So…imagine being post menapausal and being told (by a dude) you were going to have a child? Of COURSE you’d laugh.

And yet, it seems that Hashem was annoyed/frustrated with Sarah for laughing. Rashi writes that because Sarah did not believe, Hashem was angry at her.

Then, Sarah denied laughing because she was afraid. But she got called out; “no, you did laugh.”

As I reflect on this portion of the Parsha, I’m focused on hospitality and I’m focused on trusting Hashem. At times they can conflict (welcoming guests is contradictory to spending time in the Devine presence) and other times they are in line (trusting that Hashem desires us to be hospitable).

I’m reflecting on a self assessment on how to balance both. How much time am I spending in the Devine presence? How much time am I spending being hospitable? How much time am I spending doing neither?

If I’m honest with myself, I’m spending more time doing neither than spending time with Hashem or with guests.

When We look around our house (for our family with six kids especially) how often do we, as a Jewish community struggle to want to invite people over to see “our mess?” It’s easier not to.

In addition, how often do we struggle to want to invite Hashem’s presence into our lives because we don’t want Him to see “our mess” internally?

And the reality is, Hashem already sees our mess; and he still wants us to become aware of His presence- because the act of being in Hashem’s presence is acutely connected to our awareness of the reality we are ALWAYS in his presence – mess or not. And let’s be fair; it’s ALWAYS messy.

Anyway; some thoughts for the new week and the new Parsha! I hope you are enjoying these posts.

As always; please feel free to engage below! I’d love to know your thoughts? Are there things you see differently? Recognizing my lens is my own and there are other lenses that are valid when it comes to Torah!