Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 13 Tevet, 5785

Good morning! Tonight is the full moon – where the universe is reflecting back to us the areas we need to pay the most attention to.

This passage is all about birth AND death. You see Pharaoh asked the midwives to go against their nature.  He asked them to kill the babies instead of bring them into life.

Where are we going against our nature? Where are we being asked to go against life, and continue to be stuck?

We are at the cusp of something. Wide open spaces in front of us. New life.

We can choose to remain stuck.

Something I read this morning from Mark Nepo:

“If we fear change, we are blind to the abundance of life.”

What is changing? Where are we afraid of this change?

When Pharaoh could not get the midwives to kill the babies in secret, we end the first chapter of Exodus with a declaration – kill all the Jewish boys born.

It came to light Pharaoh’s plan. For all the world to see. How would Egypt respond?

Once again we learn Moses is born of Levi.  He is born from wrath and anger. Stolen instruments (see my commentary below from last year).

How can wrath and anger disrupt our growth? By repressing it. Anger is safe. Repressed anger is not.

Because Pharaoh declaring to the Egyptians “kill all the Jewish male babies?”  Wrath and anger in response would be valid, wouldn’t it?

And? How do we react reading that?

And let’s go a step further.

Slavery in America.

Does that make you angry? Or do you diminish it.

The Holocaust.

The Torah is a story of humanity. We have lost our humanity in so many ways.

This is not about Jews/Egyptians.

This is not about good/evil.

This is about compassion and empathy.

We miss the impact Joseph had on the Egyptians, and how the fear of Jewish power (which the Torah tells us, Pharaoh was afraid) dehumanized the Jews in Egypt.

Humanity.  This is what is being reflected in this energy right now.

And? Humanity is experiencing a deep psychosis.

What is psychosis?

The definition is “a severe mental condition in which thought and emotions are so affected that contact is lost with external reality.”

We have lost contact with the external reality around us. Our humanity. The souls within each of us – hurting, angry.

We have so dehumanized one another – relegating each other to NPC (Non Playable Characters for those who don’t play video games) – missing the humanity each of us brings to the table.

We have become our own gods. Which is what the garden in the Torah has warned us against.

When we expand – grieve – and see the external reality – and the humanity around us? We will no longer see suffering. We will see abundance.

There is no “me” or “you” – there is only “us.” So if I dismiss you, chalk your behavior up to your trauma, dismiss it? I am doing what Pharaoh is doing. Casting out the parts of us we are afraid of.

I wrote this last year:

I have been reflecting lately on feelings. How much of our human experience is building an Ark for ourselves to protect us from feelings; sadness, anger, jealousy, guilt, shame? We want it both ways – protection from SOME feelings but not from others.

The way out of slavery? Feeling.

Giving birth out of anger sounds AWFUL doesn’t it? I hear “don’t react out of anger! That’s bad!”  But it is almost as if allowing ourselves to feel anger? Can be the way of freedom.

Moses, born of wrath was found weeping in a basket. Anger tends to hide our sadness and fears. Can we give voice to our anger, and hold space for others in their anger? This is the path to healing.

This is the takeaway:

Anger, wrath, sadness, jealousy, guilt, shame, etc? These are not “negative” emotions/feelings.  These are just feelings. We need to allow them to see the light of day instead of hiding them in the darkness.  Putting them ON the river instead of drowning them IN the river. Can we be kind to ourselves in these feelings? That is freedom.

Moses is the hero born here. Turning wrath into tears. Rehumanizing us. We have a choice.

Be in a state of psychosis – disconnected from the external reality.  Or be inspired by those around us – seeing their struggles and perseverance and survival – and give honor to it. Honoring each others anger allows for more safety. Safety brings healing.

This is the takeaway today (I think).  I’m curious to your thoughts.

Here are my thoughts from last year:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 20 Tevet 5784
Parsha Shemot: (Exodus 1:1 – 6:1)
Second Portion: Exodus 1:18  – 2:10

Good afternoon! It has been an amazing first day of 2024.  I have had some incredible reflection time this morning – and apologize for the delay in getting this out – and – at the same time – trust the timing on all of this. 

I was sharing with someone how today feels “different” energetically – almost like stepping out into space. It feels wide open in front of us – lots of possibilities. And. At the same time – we cannot ignore the precarious nature we find ourselves in.  Like the Israelites – we left off almost IMMEDIATELY in the book of Exodus – going from the top, to being enslaved.

Let’s review:

15Now the king of Egypt spoke to the Hebrew midwives, one who was named Shifrah, and the second, who was named Puah.

16And he said, “When you deliver the Hebrew women, and you see on the birthstool, if it is a son, you shall put him to death, but if it is a daughter, she may live.”

17The midwives, however, feared God; so they did not do as the king of Egypt had spoken to them, but they enabled the boys to live.

Shifrah and Puah. The midwives. The belief is Shifrah means “to be fair” or “beautiful” and Puah is a Canaanite name which means “lass” or “little girl.”

Midwives assist with giving birth. Pharaoh wanted them to go AGAINST their nature – to bring death.  They could not do this.  They feared Hashem – they knew their purpose.  They feared Hashem more than Pharoah.  This is the context we find ourselves today:

18So the king of Egypt summoned the midwives and said to them, “Why have you done this thing, that you have enabled the boys to live?”

19And the midwives said to Pharaoh, “Because the Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian women, for they are skilled as midwives; when the midwife has not yet come to them, they have [already] given birth.”

20God benefited the midwives, and the people multiplied and became very strong.

21Now it took place when the midwives feared God, that He made houses for them.

So it’s interesting here, right? Verse 19 – did Puah and Shifirah lie to Pharaoh? Or is this really what happened?

What is a takeaway here for us? 

I think about what we may be “giving birth to.”  What in our lives are we “working on?”  Are we waiting for someone ELSE to be our midwife and help us give birth? Or are we skilled on giving birth all on our own?

This mentality – while enslaved – may be the key for us.  If we feel trapped by our own safety, we may want someone to free us. When we have the opportunity to free ourselves.

We spoke in Genesis about building an Ark in order to survive. That survival mechanism can end up becoming a prison for us.

And if, today, we find ourself in a prison because it feels safe?  Giving birth in captivity? We may not have full control as we are about to find out. 

In the meantime – we are called to look at our process – what are we WANTING to give birth to? Let’s keep going:

22And Pharaoh commanded all his people, saying, “Every son who is born you shall cast into the Nile, and every daughter you shall allow to live.”

And this is how Chapter 1 of Exodus concluded.  Instead of keeping this private with the midwives, he put it upon ALL Egyptians to take part in genocide.

And? For us? It seems like the world around us is trying to throw our birth plans into the river to kill them. 

I am now reflecting on the idea of being born in captivity vs. being born free.

These Israelites are all being born in captivity. Only a few will enter the promise land.  The Israelites born after leaving Egypt – in the wilderness? More likely will enter the promised land.

Likewise, our ideas born in freedom are more likely to succeed than our ideas born in captivity. Free ourselves – and we will see fruit. 

So this is the context. In one chapter, Joseph dies and the Jewish boys are being killed off at birth by the Egyptians.

Let’s keep going:

1A man of the house of Levi went and married a daughter of Levi.

2The woman conceived and bore a son, and [when] she saw him that he was good, she hid him for three months.

3[When] she could no longer hide him, she took [for] him a reed basket, smeared it with clay and pitch, placed the child into it, and put [it] into the marsh at the Nile’s edge.

4His sister stood from afar, to know what would be done to him.

Ok.  So – a lot of our notions of Moses’ birth come from movies I think. 

Moses was born from Levi.

This is interesting to me.  I wrote in the book of Genesis – when Jacob was blessing his sons – this about the tribe of Levi (Genesis 49:5-7):

5Simeon and Levi are brothers; stolen instruments are their weapons.

6Let my soul not enter their counsel; my honor, you shall not join their assembly, for in their wrath they killed a man, and with their will they hamstrung a bull.

7Cursed be their wrath for it is mighty, and their anger because it is harsh. I will separate them throughout Jacob, and I will scatter them throughout Israel.

Simeon and Levi are treated here as a unity. A partnership.  “Stolen instruments are their weapons.”  Simeon and Levi take. That is their struggle. They don’t give. They take. Jacob tells us – don’t listen to those who take. That is the way to murder.  Jacob does NOT curse them.  He curses their wrath.  It’s almost a double negative, isn’t it?  Cursing wrath?  If they do not get a handle on it? They will be separated and scattered.  Once again, we see an agitated, active heart – navigating anger and wrath. Not. Good.

Wrath and anger? We need to repair this.  We aren’t broken – but the anger and wrath – if it is not dealt with? Can cause EVEN MORE damage. 

Moses being born from Levi – wrath.  Given the destruction of the Jewish boys, Moses being born of wrath makes a lot of sense doesn’t it?

When we read 1:22 in Exodus: “And Pharaoh commanded all his people, saying, “Every son who is born you shall cast into the Nile, and every daughter you shall allow to live.” How much do we FEEL? How much ANGER rises within us?  Or are we so numb and callous that we read how Pharoah declared children to be drown in the Nile and think nothing of it?

I have been reflecting lately on feelings. How much of our human experience is building an Ark for ourselves to protect us from feelings; sadness, anger, jealousy, guilt, shame? We want it both ways – protection from SOME feelings but not from others.

The way out of slavery? Feeling.

Giving birth out of anger sounds AWFUL doesn’t it? I hear “don’t react out of anger! That’s bad!”  But it is almost as if allowing ourselves to feel anger? Can be the way of freedom.

The way out of slavery is through Levi. Wrath. Anger. This is not to say we should ACT out of anger or wrath. This is to say – if we don’t allow ourselves to FEEL these feelings?  Our reactions may be the problem.  This is the lesson from back in Genesis when Simeon and Levi killed someone.

So now – we have Moses.  He is born and then put into the river.  Instead of being put there to die? His mom found a way to do what Pharoah asked AND keep the baby alive.

Let’s keep going:

5Pharaoh’s daughter went down to bathe, to the Nile, and her maidens were walking along the Nile, and she saw the basket in the midst of the marsh, and she sent her maidservant, and she took it.

6She opened [it], and she saw him the child, and behold, he was a weeping lad, and she had compassion on him, and she said, “This is [one] of the children of the Hebrews.”

The child – born of wrath – was found weeping. And his sadness was held with compassion by Pharaoh’s daughter.

My takeaway? Anger/Wrath – the opposite side of the coin of Sadness/Hurt.  When we allow our anger to see the light of day, and we WEEP because of the hurt? The world will show compassion.  This is our strength – NOT hiding our anger and sadness.

If we want compassion from the world? We need to start with compassion for ourselves.

HOW OFTEN do we apologize for our sadness and anger? “I’m sorry for bringing you down.”  Why isn’t our response ALWAYS “why are you apologizing? You are feeling sad. Be in your sadness. I have space for you to be in your sadness.” Being kind and compassionate for ourselves in our anger, wrath, sadness, jealousy, guilt, shame, etc?  This is the key to healing. This is the key to freedom.

And I think this is the first lesson in Exodus:

Anger, wrath, sadness, jealousy, guilt, shame, etc? These are not “negative” emotions/feelings.  These are just feelings. We need to allow them to see the light of day instead of hiding them in the darkness.  Putting them ON the river instead of drowning them IN the river. Can we be kind to ourselves in these feelings? That is freedom.

Let’s keep going:

7His sister said to Pharaoh’s daughter, “Shall I go and call for you a wet nurse from the Hebrew women, so that she shall nurse the child for you?”

8Pharaoh’s daughter said to her, “Go!” So the girl went and called the child’s mother.

9Pharaoh’s daughter said to her, “Take this child and nurse him for me, and I will give [you] your wages.” So the woman took the child and nursed him.

10The child grew up, and she brought him to Pharaoh’s daughter, and he became like her son. She named him Moses, and she said, “For I drew him from the water.”

“His sister” is the baby’s sister. She got the baby’s mom to nurse him – reuniting the baby with his mom. 

I reflect on this. Mothers are about nurturing.  The baby, born in anger/wrath was nurtured – and returned to the Egyptians – and the Princess of Egypt (Pharoah’s daughter) took him on as a son. She named him Moses. The baby born of wrath and anger – was named for the purity of the water. He was healed.

It is almost as if Moses is a “reverse Phoenix.”  Instead of being born out of the ashes and rising like a fire – Moses was born of the depth of emotions – and like an evaporated mist – Moses rose from the river into a Prince of Egypt.

And thus begins the redemption story of the Israelites in slavery.  A hero is born – and from the water rises – giving air to our emotions – all of them – gives us the power to escape slavery.

What are your thoughts?