Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 14 Kislev, 5784
Parsha Va-Yishlah (Genesis 32:4 – 36:43)
Second Portion: 32:14 – 32:30
Good morning! It’s Monday, and we are coming off a short week. It has been quite challenging this morning getting up and running. Let’s dig into the Torah!
We left off yesterday with a new lesson. Sadness and Grief being healing. And how we resist those.
Jacob left off yesterday’s portion turning to Hashem. And that is where we pick up:
14So he lodged there on that night, and he took from what came into his hand a gift for his brother Esau:
15Two hundred she goats and twenty he goats, two hundred ewes and twenty rams,
16Thirty nursing camels with their young, forty cows and ten bulls, twenty she donkeys and ten he donkeys.
17And he gave into the hands of his servants each herd individually, and he said to his servants, “Pass on ahead of me and make a space between one herd and another herd.”
18And he commanded the first one, saying, “When my brother Esau meets you, and asks you, saying, ‘To whom do you belong, and where are you going, and for whom are these before you?’
19You shall say, ‘[I belong] to your servant Jacob; it is a gift sent to my master, to Esau, and behold, he himself is behind us.'”
20And he commanded also the second one, also the third one, also all those who followed the herds, saying, “In this manner shall you speak to Esau when you meet him.
21And you shall say, ‘Also, behold, your servant Jacob is behind us.’ ” For he said, “I will appease his anger with the gift that is going before me, and afterwards I will see his face, perhaps he will favor me.”
22So the gift passed on before him, and he lodged that night in the camp.
So – what is interesting to me? The Torah does not record Jacob hearing from Hashem on what to do here. It would have been easier had the Torah said “after Jacob spoke to Hashem, Hashem told him not to worry – and here is what you should do…”
That is NOT what happened. It would seem Jacob consulted Hashem, but still could not accept the sadness and grief. He saw this as a conflict and a battle. He believed Esau was angry. This was the safer choice, to be honest. Protect himself. He gave a gift to appease anger.
I’m reflecting on this. Can a material gift be given that would appease anger?
I’m thinking about times I am most angry. For me, a physical gift doesn’t impact the emotional anger – unless there is a monetary connection to the source of hurt that led to the anger.
Jacob seems to not be holding space that after all of this time, Esau may have grown as a person; developed. Jacob believes – without any indication from Hashem or seeing Esau himself – that Esau has been stuck in the past and hasn’t moved on.
I’m super curious about this. Let’s keep going:
23And he arose during that night, and he took his two wives and his two maidservants and his eleven children, and he crossed the ford of [the] Jabbok.
24And he took them and brought them across the stream, and he took across what was his.
So Jacob gives the gifts a head start – then later takes his family across behind the gifts. And then…
25And Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until the break of dawn.
26When he saw that he could not prevail against him, he touched the socket of his hip, and the socket of Jacob’s hip became dislocated as he wrestled with him.
27And he (the angel) said, “Let me go, for dawn is breaking,” but he (Jacob) said, “I will not let you go unless you have blessed me.”
A lot has been written about this – and I would encourage you to read the commentary I wrote below two years ago on some of the ideas.
Jacob is just looking for a blessing.
And I connect all of this. Jacob consulted Hashem. And maybe what was concerning for Jacob was he wasn’t hearing anything back? He just wanted to receive assurances on how to proceed in reconciling with Esau? He was looking for direction. He felt alone and isolated.
Jacob was going to fight until he got a blessing. Let’s keep going and close out the portion:
28So he said to him, “What is your name?” and he said, “Jacob.”
29And he said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, because you have commanding power with [an angel of] God and with men, and you have prevailed.”
30And Jacob asked and said, “Now tell me your name,” and he said, “Why is it that you ask for my name?” And he blessed him there.
The Angel changed his name from “Trickery” (Jacob) to “Fighter of God” (Israel).
Now. “Fighter of God” can be read a few different ways, can’t it?
- Jacob fights WITH God
- Jacob fights FOR God
- Jacob fights BELONGING TO God
And; as Jews – the nation of Israel – it’s all of those things, right?
We are BLESSED to fight with God – and not be judged for it
We are BLESSED to fight for God – and not be judged for it
We are BLESSED to fight belonging to God – and not be judged for it.
And. We decide. When we fight – when we have conflict – which of these we will choose to identify as.
And – one more thing. Our soul? Our Neshama? It is our purpose. It is Hashem in us. So we can choose also -the following:
- To fight WITH God for PURPOSE
- To fight FOR God WITH PURPOSE
- To fight BELONGING TO God with and for PURPOSE
We are safe to have conflict with Hashem. This is the lesson of Jacob. Hashem doesn’t judge us for fighting WITH Him, FOR Him, BELONGING TO Him.
So here is my takeaway as we navigate conflict with others:
- Are these others SAFE to have a conflict with us for their purpose?
- Are these others SAFE to have a conflict for us with purpose?
Conflict is human. And – we avoid it. We are scared of it. This seems to be something to Torah wants us to chew on for our freedom and liberation.
What are your thoughts?
Here is my commentary from the past two years:
Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 11 Kislev, 5783
Happy Monday! I read the portion today, and was struck with the idea of Dinah. Yesterday, we discussed Dinah at Chabad (I go on Sundays to learn and Daven).
One of the things mentioned about Dinah was that she was known for going out among the people – and having spiritual influence over them – helping them become more in touch with their spirituality.
Jacob may have miscalculated what Hashem wanted him to do with Dinah to keep her hidden from Esau. But it is interesting that Jacob married Leah to avoid her marrying Esau; and now took measures to have Dinah to avoid marrying Esau.
Now; this was the interesting thing we discussed; because of this, Dinah was violated by Shechem. And; it seems unjust Dinah was violated because of a decision her father made.
And. It highlights the critical importance of women in the Torah. Because Dinah was violated- the men of Shechem were converted to Judaism- they were all circumcised (as we will discover) before being slaughtered.
So – keeping Dinah hidden changed souls. And that is a major sacrifice. Dinah didn’t ask for this. She was thrust into the situation by others.
There is more to be studied around Dinah for sure – she seems to be a fulcrum on this journey of freedom and liberation and how we get to be put into the prison of Egypt. We made some bad decisions (or errors in judgment) back then.
And. At the same time. If I was concerned about my enemy being able to marry my daughter because of “traditions” I can understand why Jacob would hide her away.
All of this translates to me and my heart about judgment calls. Sometimes it’s tough to trust our own judgment. But to trust it will all work for our good? That’s helpful as we wrestle with the decisions we need to make in life.
I know I struggle and wrestle with “right answers” and “wrong answers” or “good decisions” and “bad decisions.”
But I think really it comes down to – decisions that move us in the direction we want to go, or decisions that move us away from those directions.
What are your thoughts?
Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for Kislev 11, 5782
We left off with Jacob “reminding” God (like God would forget) the promises Hashem made.
Jacob does something curious at the beginning of todays portion. After reminding God of the promises, he pulls from his flocks significant gifts for Esau:
- 200 female goats
- 20 male goats
- 200 ewes
- 20 rams
- 30 nursing camels
- An unknown quantity of baby camels
- 40 cows
- 10 bulls
- 20 female donkeys
- 10 male donkeys
That’s a lot of animals! Something I wonder here; what is significant about the camels? All the other animals Jacob gave male and females. But the Camels it was Mothers and children. Why? Not sure there is an answer. But it is certainly curious!
Jacob tells the servants to spread out so Esau sees the size of the gift as they approach him. Each servant takes a group of animals spaced out to approach Esau.
Jacob further instructs the first group: when Esau questions you, let him know the animals belong to Jacob and they are a gift for Esau! And then let Esau know Jacob is coming.
Then he instructs the other groups to do the same thing, but adds this in: “when you tell Esau that Jacob is coming, add in “I’ll appease Esau’s anger with the gift that is going ahead of me and afterwards I’ll see him face to face! Perhaps he’ll accept me!”
He sent the gifts off and went to sleep.
That night Jacob gathered everyone and set out. Curiously, he hid Dinah in a chest (it says he took his eleven children) and crossed the Jabbok.
Rashi writes “where was Dinah? Jacob put her into a chest and locked her in, so that Esau would not set eyes on her. Jacob was wrong for withholding her from his brother, for perhaps she would have made a decent person of him. That is why she ended up falling into the hands of Shechem.”
Let’s pause here. Dinah not only does NOT get a tribe of her own; she gets locked in a chest. Geesh. I can acknowledge that seems very rough treatment. I’m not sure what to do with that to be honest. I’m curious as to what others think of this!
After getting everything across the Jabbok, Jacob remembers he left some small jars and goes back to the camp. He meets angels and wrestled with him until the break of dawn.
Ok. Um. Where is the context here? What is the motivation for Jacob to just start wrestling?
First, the Talmud weighs in with two different ideas; the angel appeared to Jacob as a pagan idol worshipper, or perhaps as a Torah sage.
Rabbi Abraham Bornstein of Sochazew says “The two Talmudic views of how the guardian angel of Esau….”
Wait. Stop. Jacob was wrestling with Esau’s guardian angel? I had never considered that. Ok. Chewing on that.
Rabbi Abraham continues.. ”allude to two different manifestations of the yetzer ha-ra (impulse to evil). The ’idol-worshipper’ is the overt yetzer ha-ra for physical pleasures. The ‘sage’ represents the covert actions of the yetzer ha-ra to entice a person with arguments which appear, superficially, to be legitimate.”
I’m chewing on this. It’s an interesting concept for sure. Jacob was wrestling with the voice in Esau’s body- both the sage and the pleasure seeker. I had always believe this wrestling was between Jacob and God; but it sort of does make more sense in context that he’s wrestling with Esau’s guardian angel.
The angel continued wrestling with Jacob and saw he could not win.
Again, this always confounded me; if Jacob was wrestling with God, surely God would win. If Jacob is wrestling with Esau’s guardian angel? Ok, maybe Jacob would prevail.
So what does the angel do? Touches the joint of Jacob’s hip, which causes the hip to become dislocated.
Rabbi Schneerson writes about the mitzvah of not eating the sciatic nerve of an animal (in respect of Jacob’s hip). He writes “when we observe the prohibition against eating the sciatic nerve, our emphasis should be a positive one. Rather than focusing on Jacob’s injury to the sciatic nerve, we should stress the fact that later he was TOTALLY healed, representing the ability of a Jew to withstand all the tribulations of exile and emerge unblemished.”
The angel then asks Jacob to let him go. Jacob responds “not unless you bless me.” It is likely referring to consenting to the blessing that Isaac gave Jacob, which Esau never accepted and was the cause of his anger. Honestly, the more I read, the more the angel being Esau’s guardian angel makes sense.
The angel asks “what is your name.” Did the angel NOT know? That seems like an odd question. Jacob tells the angel his name.
It may have been a set up; the angel tells Jacob, his name is no longer Jacob (which means trickery) but rather Israel (fighter of God)- which suggests the blessing was authorized. He gives the reasons; because Jacob fought with God and Laban and Esau and overcame them.
The name Israel is interesting. It means Fighter of God, but Rabbi Kalonymous Kalyan Shapira writes that the word “sar” means fought but can ALSO mean ”lord.” So in a sense, Jacob became a “lord of God.” Obviously, Lord here is not meant to insinuate that Jacob was God. Heaven forbid! It insinuates that Jacob already was royalty of God, and had already prevailed.
Jacob did not see this renaming as the blessing because he challenged the angel to share his name. The angel responded “why do you ask my name?” Mainly because the Talmud tells us that Angels don’t have fixed names. Jacob persists, and the angel blessed him there.
Jacob, who had been fretting over his meeting with Esau, should now be good to go and reassured that things would go well.
Final thought from todays portion taken from the Torah I am reading. There is a “spiritual vitamin” that says this:
“Jacob was given the additional name ‘Israel’ after he had ‘fought with an angel of God and with men, and prevailed’ (v 29). The experience of Jacob reflects Jewish experience throughout the ages, on the individual as well as communal levels. Expect to meet challenges by adversaries, whether in the guise of angels (including your inner demons) or humans, who attempt to place obstacles in Jacob’s going ‘on his way’ (v. 2). Far from being discouraged or sidetracked by such obstacles, you should rise to the challenge with absolute determination- and then you are assured of victory!”
I like this thought. We are (as Jews) both Jacob and Israel. We must (in a sense) trick our body into blessing – our Esau. We fight with the Yetzer Ha-ra to connect with Hashem through the mitzvahs. But we ALSO overcome as Israel, because the Neshama assures us of victory! All things work to our good! We are fighters with Hashem, but we are also royalty; lords of Hashem!
One caveat. I think it’s important when discussing the idea of lordship, that it starts within. I do not see (or treat) myself as royalty. We spoke last week of where does our worth come from? External or internal sources? Do we seek out our royalty from others (in a sense “lording it over” others)? Or do we live as royalty within, understanding our worth and value because we have Hashem in us; our Neshama is royalty? Too often we are devoid of understanding our inherent worth so we do try to lord it over others to get a sense of our worth. Narcissism is rooted in this idea. We must live as humble lords of Hashem. We are not Gods.
The truth is our Neshama (Hashem in us) has existed from the very beginning of our understanding of time – because it is connected to God. He is in us. We are lords. We need to start living that way. Treating ourselves and each other the way we were designed!
What are your thoughts?
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