Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 17 Cheshvan, 5784
Parsha Va-Yera’: (Genesis 18:1-22:24) 
Fourth Portion: Genesis 19:21 – 21:4

Today’s portion of Va-Yera’ (and he appeared) is longer; and it covers a lot of ground. To summarize:

• Hashem saves Lot (though his wife dies)
• Lot’s Daughters get him drunk and sexually assault him to have kids – they are the foundation of the Moabites and Ammonites.
• Abraham repeats the situation with Sarah from before and tells people he’s his sister again
• The local King sends for Sarah and tries to take her as his wife
• Hashem steps in
• Abraham tells the king (Like Obi Won Kenobi spoke about Luke’s father Darth Vader) “well she’s my sister…..from a certain point of view”
• All is forgiven
• Sarah has the “reverse” immaculate conception as she had no eggs – Hashem put an egg in her for Abraham to fertilize.
• Isaac is born (He appeared?)
• Isaac is circumcised 8 days after he was born.

I am reflecting on this passage.  I wrote in detail about it two years ago.  Last year, I wrote nothing. I was in facebook jail for four days.  This year, where I am at, this passage is really interesting.

Here are my takeaways:

We left yesterday with the foundation of “receive the universe; don’t resist it. This is the path to freedom and liberation.”

Given this – I am reflecting on trauma again. Our journey here is freedom and liberation or slavery. Choices along the way. Let’s revisit the summary:

• Hashem saves Lot (though his wife dies)

Hashem told Lot “don’t look back” and in a sense, we need to hear this advice. With our Trauma – we need to “not look back” and move forward.  If we get stuck in the past? We will end up enslaved. We can check the rearview mirror for sure – but if we turn around – and get stuck in the past? We will end up dead; or enslaved.

• Lot’s Daughters get him drunk and sexually assault him to have kids – they are the foundation of the Moabites and Ammonites.

Lot’s Daughters were traumatized. They were afraid the world was crashing around them.  They thought Lot and the two of them were it. Lot made the mistake to run and hide.  His daughters acted out of fear. Their reality didn’t match the reality around them – but they made the best decision they could. And it created more trauma. More problems.  Because it produced some of the biggest enemies of the Israelites in the Torah.  Trauma begets Trauma. Trust begets trust. Trust the universe and Hashem to unfold in a way that works for us.

• Abraham repeats the situation with Sarah from before and tells people he’s his sister again

Lessons not learned will repeat themselves. How do we justify this given Hashem telling us “don’t look back?” I would say it is both/and not either/or. 

• The local King sends for Sarah and tries to take her as his wife
• Hashem steps in

Even if we make decisions that aren’t in our best interests and display a lack of trust, Hashem will intervene.

• Abraham tells the king (Like Obi Won Kenobi spoke about Luke’s father Darth Vader) “well she’s my sister…..from a certain point of view”
• All is forgiven

All is forgiven – AND there are still consequences for what happened.

• Sarah has the “reverse” immaculate conception as she had no eggs – Hashem put an egg in her for Abraham to fertilize.
• Isaac is born

Through Trauma – miracles happen. New growth and birth happens. Isaac was a miracle born of Trauma.  And I think we will see Isaac’s story play out in a way that will heal this trauma – but maybe not in his lifetime. When we talk about Hashem as Jews; we talk about the God of Abraham, Isaac, AND Jacob.  Jacob will be the redemption of this Trauma (I think).  Isaac is the miracle child. We will see him (almost) get sacrificed. And we will see him father twins – Jacob and Esau.  Almost as if his Trauma was born into Esau and his healing is born to Jacob. And Through Jacob, Joseph will be born. And that is how we end up in Egypt. 

• Isaac is circumcised 8 days after he was born.

And although Isaac is born miraculously – he is still born of trauma – his foreskin is removed after 8 days to give him a “clean slate” of the covenant moving forward.

We have the real Genesis today in how we have two paths before us – one to freedom and liberation – one to slavery and death. Holding on to trauma and looking back? Slavery and death.  Forgiveness, circumcision and trust? Freedom and liberation.   This is the takeaway.

What are YOUR thoughts?

Here is my commentary from two years ago.  A year ago, I was in facebook jail so I didn’t get to post thoughts on it.  It is interesting how this seems connected:

Torah thoughts; Heshvan 14, 5782

Ok. Here it is. The destruction of Sodom and Gamorah. And more. This is a long portion so bear with me!

After asking the Angels and God to flee to a different city instead of fleeing to the mountains, he got his response;

One of the angels said to Lot (on God’s behalf); “Look! I am giving you a special dispensation that not only you will be saved, but the city you mentioned will not be overturned. Hurry there, for I will not be able to do anything until you arrive there.”

Let’s stop for a minute. Lot’s request (to flee to the city instead of the mountains) seems Soooooooo ungrateful after all the support the angels and God had previously given him.

And Hashem’s response is surprising here. Instead of “you ungrateful man! Listen and do what I tell you!” Lot gets “look, I’m going to treat you special. Go to the city.”

Despite everything; Hashem still thought the world of Lot. You want to talk about compassion? That’s compassion. And honestly, it’s a little convicting because I’m not sure I could love like that. I mean, I reflect on being a dad; so many times the kids come to me with requests that seem ungrateful. How often is my response to just love them and have compassion on them in those moments (as opposed to frustration).

But here we have Hashem’s example. Compassion.

Lot flees to Zoar (which means small) while fire rains down upon Sodom and Gomorrah.

And almost as an aside, Lot’s wife looked and became a pillar of salt. The Talmud says this was a punishment for withholding salt from guests.

Growing up, I always heard the story of Lot’s wife being warned not to turn back or else she’d turn into a pillar of salt, but reading the Torah I don’t see that directly. The only warning we see is the angels telling Lot not to turn back.

I’m chewing on this story because there is still something that doesn’t sit right. Given all the mercy shown to Lot; why doesn’t his wife get any? Like her name isn’t even mentioned. I’m not sure I have good answers here- I’d love to know your thoughts!

Let’s keep going because there is more I have questions about.

Abraham sees the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah and then we have something (from the Talmud) that is really hard for me to chew on, especially given the conversations we’ve been having about Abram and Sarai and the sister/wife conflict.

This is what the Torah says:

“When God had destroyed the cities of the plain, God remembered Abraham. Thus he overturned the cities Lot had lived. He sent Lot from the midst of destruction.”

The Talmud adds that “God remembered (how Lot kept secret that Sarai was not) Abraham(‘s sister).”

The first version of this didn’t make a lot of sense. Lot was saved because of Abraham? I mean that’s possible…but the second version makes a little more sense…but then it creates new conflicts. Because Lot kept quiet, he was rewarded? Being silent in the face of injustice gets rewarded?

I’m struggling to figure out whether a) the story of Sarai being pushed as Abram’s sister wasn’t a problem for Hashem, or b) Lot keeping quiet was a problem; which is why he lost his home.

I’m honestly a bit confused and would love some thoughts here!

I’m going to put some of that aside for now so we can keep moving;

Next, Lot flees Zoar with his two daughters. He lives in a cave because he’s scared.

Given everything that’s happened and the great lengths Hashem went to save Lot, he’s still scared? I kind of relate to that. It is painful to admit when reflecting how much Hashem has done for me (and our family) that I still struggle with faith.

Lot’s daughters then do the unthinkable – but they had reason. They Thought the entire world had been destroyed and they were the only three humans left. They got him drunk and (cringe) had sex with him while he was passed out. They basically sexually assaulted their dad. And thus produced the Moabites and Ammonites.

I mean, I get it; on one hand they thought they were it. They also knew they were commanded to be fruitful and multiply. They got their father so drunk he wouldn’t know. But still. There is so much here. The trauma upon trauma. Trauma producing Trauma. The cycles here. It’s a lot.

We then shift over to Abraham. And we get MORE trauma.

Abraham left the area and once again traveled. Once again he (without her consent) told people Sarah was his sister instead of his wife. Again, the struggle of faith even with Abraham; it’s relatable and painful at the same time.

Abimelech, the king (because of course) sent for Sarah and took her to be his wife. But this time Hashem intervened; he came to Abimelech in a dream. God basically tells Abimelech to return Sarah to Abraham; and basically says if you do, Abraham will forgive you, if you don’t you will die.

Abimelech summoned all he knew and they were frightened. Of COURSE Abimelech was upset with Abraham.

The next passage is a little confusing – because Abraham justifies it (and honestly it’s reminiscent of Ben Kenobi in Star Wars telling Luke his father was killed by Darth Vader).

Abraham’s justification? (to paraphrase); “well y’all were cold hearted and didn’t believe in God, and from a certain point of view Sarah IS my sister because Sarah was Abraham’s dad’s granddaughter (which is like a daughter) even though Sarah isn’t related to my mom. So you see; I didn’t REALLY lie.”

Honestly my jaw drops with this justification. And it seems like it’s accepted. Abraham prays for Abimelech and it’s like “no harm no foul.”

My takeaway here. As difficult as this Parsha this week has been, we keep seeing Hashem give mercy to our forefathers and foremothers. Between then and now, why do I live my life like something had changed? Like somehow the stuff I do won’t be treated with the same mercy and compassion Hashem gave Abraham, Lot, and Sarah? Why do I live my life like Hashem is ready to slam down the cosmic hammer on me if I get out of line?

Because right after the situation with Abimelech and Abaraham? Sarah gets pregnant with Isaac.

After Abraham prays for Abimelech and his family to be healed, he was praying for them to not be barren because God had made Abimelech’s family barren because of the incident with Sarah.

Rashi writes this: “the Torah placed the account of Sarah’s pregnancy immediately following the account of Abraham’s prayer on behalf of Abimelech. This teaches us that if you pray for your friend, when you yourself need that very thing you are praying for, you will be answered first.”

I like this concept; praying for others for things you yourself needs increases the likelihood you will be answered!

The portion concludes with Isaac’s birth and circumcision after 8 days as Hashem had commanded Abraham.

So. We see; the next generation from Abraham is Isaac. But there is also Ishmael. From Lot, we have Moab and Ammon. What a happy family! Isaac, Ishmael, Moab and Ammon.

Whew. This is a lot. What are YOUR thoughts! That’s what I want to hear!