Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 18 Shevat, 5785

Good morning!  Today we have a new Torah Parsha – Mishpatim – which means “laws” – or (as I like to think of them) “connecting points.”

I wrote this a year ago, and it seems super salient:

It would seem as we move from grief, we get to anxiety, doesn’t it? Getting out of Egypt requires grief. Moving into the wilderness, there is a lot of anxiety it would seem. Let’s keep going.

And this year, as I reflect on this, I realize – the moment we get through grief? We are anxious to return to it.  We are somehow built to avoid grief – to challenge grief – to numb ourselves to grief.   And? In doing so? We pretty much assure we will return to grief – because it is a pattern and cycle we get stuck in.

How do we break free?

By leaning in.

To guilt and shame.

Because we avoid the shame and guilt of how we navigated past grief by avoiding grief.

And we are called to lean in. To soften our hearts. To be vulnerable. Intimate.

Because the laws today seem to connect with grief and anxiety.

What are your thoughts?

Here’s my thoughts from last year:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 26 Shevat 5784
Parsha Mishpatim: (Exodus 21:1 – 24:18)
First Portion: Exodus 21:1 – 21:19

Good morning!  This Parsha is Mishpatim, which means “laws.” Which is interesting since the Torah itself often gets interpreted as “laws.”  These are the laws given after the 10 commandments. And it is unique that the parsha STARTS with the word “And.” It connects this portion to Jethro. I wonder if that is ALSO because Jethro is still the impetus here? 

1And these are the ordinances that you shall set before them.

2Should you buy a Hebrew slave, he shall work [for] six years, and in the seventh [year], he shall go out to freedom without charge.

3If he comes [in] alone, he shall go out alone; if he is a married man, his wife shall go out with him.

4If his master gives him a wife, and she bears him sons or daughters, the woman and her children shall belong to her master, and he shall go out alone.

5But if the slave says, “I love my master, my wife, and my children. I will not go free,”

6his master shall bring him to the judges, and he shall bring him to the door or to the doorpost, and his master shall bore his ear with an awl, and he shall serve him forever.

This first part is all about Hebrew slavery. The Children in Israel – after LEAVING Slavery in Egypt – somehow must have found a way to become enslaved again.

My guess? It had to do with not staying connected to the Torah; remember – on Saturday, we read what Hashem wants:

• Make an Altar to Hashem
• Slaughter the things we are holding onto
• Receive Hashem’s blessing
• The Altar should be natural
• Dignity

This is freedom and relationship. Transformational love. It is interesting that immediately, Hashem and Moses begin the ordinances when we find ourselves enslaved.  Because of fear.

I have been doing a meditation practice around anxiety.  In the 10%  Happier app, I am learning about anxiety –

“The State of Uneasiness and Apprehension about future Uncertainties.”

Simply put – Anxiety is overestimating a potential threat or underestimating our ability to cope with this threat.

Anxiety causes us to react quickly and not respond in wisdom or discernment. It would seem these verses are all about what to do AFTER we fall into the trap of anxiety. Let’s keep going:

7Now if a man sells his daughter as a maidservant, she shall not go free as the slaves go free.

8If she is displeasing to her master, who did not designate her [for himself], then he shall enable her to be redeemed; he shall not rule over her to sell her to another person, when he betrays her.

9And if he designates her for his son, he shall deal with her according to the law of the daughters [of Israel].

10If he takes another [wife] for himself, he shall not diminish her sustenance, her clothing, or her marital relations.

11And if he does not do these three things for her, she shall go free without charge, without [payment of] money.

Reading this passage creates a lot of feelings. I can judge these passages as treating women like property. And I can also see how this is a result of anxiety. How the Children of Israel navigated Anxiety.  Which I imagine there was a lot of. 

Coming out of slavery, living in the wilderness. I would imagine there was a lot of people who were experiencing “The State of Uneasiness and Apprehension about future Uncertainties.” And overestimating potential threats, and underestimating their ability to handle threats.

It would seem as we move from grief, we get to anxiety, doesn’t it? Getting out of Egypt requires grief. Moving into the wilderness, there is a lot of anxiety it would seem. Let’s keep going.

12One who strikes a man so that he dies shall surely be put to death.

13But one who did not stalk [him], but God brought [it] about into his hand, I will make a place for you to which he shall flee.

14But if a man plots deliberately against his friend to slay him with cunning, [even] from My altar you shall take him to die.

15And one who strikes his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.

This section is interesting. If anxiety causes someone to kill someone (“God brought it about into his hand”) there is still freedom.  But if you PLOT it out? That’s worthy of death.

And this also seems to bring a nuance to one of the 10 commandments, doesn’t it?

I am reflecting on how anxiety impacts our ability to see nuance.

Lets keep going

16And whoever kidnaps a man and sells him, and he is found in his possession, shall surely be put to death.

17And one who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.

18And if men quarrel, and one strikes the other with a stone or with a fist, and he does not die but is confined to [his] bed,

19if he gets up and walks about outside on his support, the assailant shall be cleared; he shall give only [payment] for his [enforced] idleness, and he shall provide for his cure.

The first portion seems to close with a similar theme – kidnapping someone requires plotting. In an argument, when anxiety would be raised, and you overestimate a threat? You are clear. You just need to provide for care.

So it would seem AFTER giving us the 10 commandments, the Torah seems to be focusing on our anxiety, doesn’t it?