Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 23 Cheshvan, 5785

Good afternoon! We are in a new parsha today; “Toledot” which means “Descendants.”

I wrote about this last year – and what to bring it up again; the concept of “Post Traumatic Blessing.”  This is not to say trauma is a blessing. It is to say, navigating our trauma, and the trauma we’ve impacted in others? That is a blessing.

We do not have a time machine to change our past. We can only look at this moment and determine how we will navigate it. Be grounded in our peace. Protect our peace. That’s really the moment.

Because how we live in this moment? Will produce moments in the future. “Descendants” of the current moment. What legacy will this moment leave for us?

And? I think about the idea of “mundane.”  The word has two meanings;  “lacking interest or excitement” or “the earthly world rather than a heavenly or spiritual world.”

Sometimes I reflect and wish my life were more mundane. Sometimes I reflect and wish my life were more exciting. Looking to balance and harmonize the mundane and excitement? That feels “right.”

Trauma does take us out of the mundane. Are there other ways? How else can we live lives of excitement?

What are your thoughts?

Here are my thoughts from last year:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 28 Cheshvan, 5784
Parsha Toledot: (Genesis 25:19- 28:9)
First Portion: Genesis 25:19 – 26:5

New Parsha! This week we are studying “Toledot” which means “Descendants.” It’s the study of the lineage of Abraham; and the next generation of Jacob and Esau.

In the Chumash (book) I am reading – there is this quote:

“Connect to your lineage and discover the presence of your ancestors within you. You will receive the merit of all their efforts and be empowered to become full human, as best you can be.”

Fully human. We are called to embrace our human-ness.  This week, the themes are; struggle, pain, blessing children.

It is interesting to me; we just came out of the life of Sarah.  In the past, reading this, I have spent time focused on the men in this parsha.  But the descendant of Sarah? From a female perspective?  Rebecca. She’s the next woman in line.

Rebecca felt her twins struggling within her. From the Chumash:

“Esau would move when she passed houses of idol-worship, while Jacob would move when she passed houses of prayer.  Within you are two impulses which struggle with each other. One inclines towards the mundane while the other towards the Godly. It is your choice which impulse to follow.”

In addition, Rebecca’s pregnancy was extremely painful.  From the Chumash:

Rebecca’s pregnancy was extremely painful, leading her to wonder why she wanted to have children.  Pain constricts your mind, eclipses all your concerns, makes you forgetful of your sacred mission in life. If pain presents itself, remember that it is only a transient “doorway” which you need to pass through.

Connecting these two concepts?  We might understand WHY we might choose the mundane over the Godly.  There seems to be much more risk, trust, faith in choosing the Godly impulse in a given moment.  To engage our Jacob.  Esau seeks mundane – but also comfort. I am reflecting in my life how many times I made choices to AVOID pain instead of my Godly impulse. Pain = bad. When Pain REALLY = risk. Or at least opening ourselves up to pain = Risk.

The Godly choice produces scenarios for pain to enter. Suffering. I wrote about this previously:

It’s from the “Book of Awakening” by Mark Nepo.  And he writes this:

 “Suffering is caused by the contrast between what you mentally decided you wanted and the reality unfolding in front of you.”

When we make a Godly choice – we open ourselves up to the possibility that the reality unfolding in front of me may contrast with something we previously decided we wanted.  Letting go of past decisions and desires? That is what making the Godly choice puts us in touch with. 

All of this to understand the “descendants.”  I am also reflecting on my own descendants today -as opposed to where we were two years ago when I wrote the commentary below.  We have (and continue to) navigated pain, struggle, and blessing together. I now see all of this is FOR THE PURPOSE of connecting me to my ancestors within me.  The Jacob and Esau within me. My mom/dad. Grandmothers and Grandfathers.  All of my current reality is connected to this.  And there is a lot of struggle. A lot of pain. A lot of blessing.

And this is the Jewish people, isn’t it? It is all of us.  I have written before – we talk a lot in our society about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  My therapist (who is AMAZING) talks with me about the concept of Post Traumatic Growth and Post Traumatic Resilience.

Today? I am reflecting on this idea of Post Traumatic Blessing. 

It’s hard for me to write that. I know. I KNOW. Some will read that as “Post Traumatic Blessing – in other words you need to be GRATEFUL for your trauma – it was good for you. YOU DESERVED IT!” 

If that is what you read when I write “Post Traumatic Blessing” please know, that is NOT what is in my head when I write it. 

When I write “Post Traumatic Blessing” I mean this;

• The Trauma we’ve experienced. It was not OUR fault. 
• The Trauma we’ve caused others? That IS our fault, even if it was unintentionally done.
• We do NOT have a time machine to go back to the past and undo that trauma in either direction (our trauma we’ve experienced and our trauma we’ve caused)
• In THIS moment. We have a choice. We can stay stuck in those moments of trauma that we’ve experienced, or we can take RESPONSIBILITY in this moment to heal that trauma. That we’ve experienced, and that we’ve caused.
• By taking the POWER and responsibility for healing? The descendants of Trauma turn to Resilience. Growth. BLESSING.

This is what I mean by Post Traumatic Blessing.

This is Toledot. This is our descendants. We have a choice. Engage our Godly soul. Or Engage the mundane.

What choice will we make?  Ok.  Let’s dig into the Torah (Genesis 25:19-21):

19And these are the generations of Isaac the son of Abraham; Abraham begot Isaac.

20And Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebecca the daughter of Bethuel the Aramean of Padan Aram, the sister of Laban the Aramean, to himself for a wife.

21And Isaac prayed to the Lord opposite his wife because she was barren, and the Lord accepted his prayer, and Rebecca his wife conceived.

Rebecca was barren.  Read below on what I’ve written about in the past about her being barren.  This connects her to Sarah, doesn’t it?  Let’s keep going:

22And the children struggled within her, and she said, “If [it be] so, why am I [like] this?” And she went to inquire of the Lord.

23And the Lord said to her, “Two nations are in your womb, and two kingdoms will separate from your innards, and one kingdom will become mightier than the other kingdom, and the elder will serve the younger.

24And her days to give birth were completed, and behold, there were twins in her womb.

This is a preview of what is to come. The two kingdoms are within us.  One side will become mightier than the other. The elder will serve the younger.

The elder will serve the younger.

I am chewing on this.  For 46 years, the elder Esau energy has been mightier within me.  Over the past 5 years, the Jacob energy has risen up within me.  It is currently overtaking the Esau energy within me. And I am starting to see how the Esau energy – the mundane – is NOW serving the Jacob energy – the Godly.  All within me.

What about you? Where are you with your energy? Is the elder serving the younger (Godly energy is sovereign within?) or is the younger serving the elder (Mundane energy is sovereign within?). 

As an aside – for future exploration ands dialogue.  I am wondering – if you start from a young age to engage with the Godly parts of your soul, does the younger mundane energy rise up at some point in our lives and the younger mundane energy reigns supreme over the elder Godly energy?  Is that a possible reality? As kids, do we allow them to be kids and engage their mundane energy knowing that as they get older their younger Godly energy will overtake them and the elder will serve the younger?  Just a though.

Let’s keep going:

25And the first one emerged ruddy; he was completely like a coat of hair, and they named him Esau.

26And afterwards, his brother emerged, and his hand was grasping Esau’s heel, and he named him Jacob. Now Isaac was sixty years old when she gave birth to them.

27And the youths grew up, and Esau was a man who understood hunting, a man of the field, whereas Jacob was an innocent man, dwelling in tents.

28And Isaac loved Esau because [his] game was in his mouth, but Rebecca loved Jacob.

29Now Jacob cooked a pottage, and Esau came from the field, and he was faint.

30And Esau said to Jacob, “Pour into [me] some of this red, red [pottage], for I am faint”; he was therefore named Edom.

31And Jacob said, “Sell me as of this day your birthright.”

32Esau replied, “Behold, I am going to die; so why do I need this birthright?”

33And Jacob said, “Swear to me as of this day”; so he swore to him, and he sold his birthright to Jacob.

34And Jacob gave Esau bread and a pottage of lentils, and he ate and drank and arose and left, and Esau despised the birthright.

There is a lot here – and because of the length, I am going to skim some of my thoughts for you – mostly to come back to later:

• Esau (Mundane) energy = Hunting and being a “man of the field.”
• Jacob (Godly) energy = innocence and dwelling in tents (studying Torah)
• Isaac (the Miracle Masculine with an egg provided by Hashem) = masculine energy = loved Esau
• Rebecca (the barren woman who gave birth to twins) = feminine energy = loved Jacob
• At an old age, the power dynamics shift from Esau to Jacob – from Mundane to Godly
  • In order for the mundane to survive, Esau had to give his power away.
  • Mundane does NOT equal negative. It’s a choice – but not a right/wrong one.
  • This is freedom and liberation, isn’t it?

And let’s close with this (Genesis 26:1-5):

1And there was a famine in the land, aside from the first famine that had been in the days of Abraham, and Isaac went to Abimelech the king of the Philistines, to Gerar.

2And the Lord appeared to him, and said, “Do not go down to Egypt; dwell in the land that I will tell you.

3Sojourn in this land, and I will be with you, and I will bless you, for to you and to your seed will I give all these lands, and I will establish the oath that I swore to Abraham, your father.

4And I will multiply your seed like the stars of the heavens, and I will give your seed all these lands, and all the nations of the earth will bless themselves by your seed,

5Because Abraham hearkened to My voice, and kept My charge, My commandments, My statutes, and My instructions.”

Hashem gave Isaac a choice. Survive the famine in Egypt – or stay in the land and I will bless you. BECAUSE your father listened to me, and followed me.  This is why.

And I will close because of this.  My purpose as a dad? To pass blessing onto my children. If Abraham hearkened Hashem’s voice, kept Hashem’s charge, commandments, statutes and instructions?  That is my mission. That is my purpose. Because in the end, that works out well – NOT just for me. But for MY CHILDREN.

And I am ALSO left to reflect on – who in my traumatic ancestry did this for me to receive the blessings I have received?

Survive and follow the mundane. Or trust the Godly and stay.  That is the choice. At least for me. How about you?

I’d love your thoughts