Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 24 Cheshvan, 5785

Good morning! As we start the week of Thanksgiving in America, gratitude seems to be the motivating force driving a lot of us. Can we remain in a space of gratitude – despite what we see going on around us. There is a lot of suffering it would seem. Struggle. And? Can we see the beauty “behind” the struggle? What are the lessons we are being asked to learn?

We are coming to the last moments of Cheshvan. There is a new moon/new month a week from tonight.  Kislev is the month of harmony and balance – and that may be welcome for all of us.

I wrote this last year, and it seems very relevant right now:

As we begin the third month of the year we enter the energy of balance and beauty. But not just plain beauty: Kislev is the harmony that emerges after chaos. [As opposed to the month of Sivan, the harmony that has not yet ‘tasted’ discord]. Even when we experience the clash of diverse forces in our lives – within ourselves, between our communities and between nations – this new month, with its holidays, all rooted in Chanukah, empowers us with the ability to find the deeper harmony within.

So all of what is happening around us – it’s happening as INTENDED – for this purpose;

To discover harmony within diversity we need to be truthful to ourselves and to G‑d. We need “bitul” – a combination of self-suspension, modesty and humility.

And therein lies the true secret of tiferet. In addition to beauty, tiferet is also related to emet (truth). Truth means that it is true not just in one circumstance, environment or set of conditions, but in all of them. If it is true it has to be true throughout – in the beginning, middle and end (hence, the three letters of EMeT, aleph, mem, tov, the first, middle and last letters of the Hebrew Alphabet).

Bitul – Self-Suspension, modesty, and humility – its a slowing down process. Getting out of our own way. The reality of our situation – of our circumstances – is beyond our full control. Our majesty shines when we allow the world around us to light our path, instead of forcing our way forward in a direction that may not be cleared at this moment in time.

I wrote about “synarchy” a month or two back.  What we are seeing is the final stages of the orchestra “tuning up” to see all the pieces fit into place. As we enter Kislev in a week, what intentions do we have to watch pieces fall into place?

And? What truth needs to come to the light that we are either wanting (or not wanting) to be exposed that will create the chaos and harmony needed for true change?

These are my thoughts. What about you?

Here are my thoughts from last  year:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 29 Cheshvan, 5784
Parsha Toledot: (Genesis 25:19- 28:9) 
Second Portion: Genesis 26:6 – 26:12

Tonight is the new moon! A new chapter – ready to be couched in light. Are we ready to experience the light of Kislev?

I shared this article a few days ago, but this morning, this passage is especially salient for me:

Something that strikes us (even subjectively) as beautiful is balance and symmetry of several – or very many – different elements, all combined in just the right blend.

This also tells us that the components that create beauty always have the potential for chaos, and even unsightliness. One color, one note – and definitely several – out of synch, will compromise the entire composition and make it look awry. One mutant cell can wreak havoc in the entire body. A single musical note may not be beautiful and will be tedious if repeated again and again, but it will not create chaos, just annoying monotony. As soon as you introduce more elements, the potential for chaos becomes possible. Each additional element – that can further beautify the composition – creates more potential discord.

This is the paradox – and power – of beauty.

Kislev is meant to be beautiful. This cycle is bathed in light. Things may “feel” out of tune in our lives right now.  This morning in meditation I was reflecting on all of the pieces that I felt insecure about, and all the pieces I felt secure in.  I believe the areas I feel security will be the foundation of the concert about to begin in this new cycle.

A single musical note may not be beautiful and will be tedious if repeated again and again, but it will not create chaos, just annoying monotony. As soon as you introduce more elements, the potential for chaos becomes possible. Each additional element – that can further beautify the composition – creates more potential discord.

I have lived as a single note most of my life. In fact the chapters of my life from the ages of 28-49 could have been titled “annoying monotony.” I was unwilling to introduce and allow new elements of my life and navigate the chaos of alignment.  Honestly? This started when we had kids. Six kids. I wanted to shut the chaos out. I felt safe without the various notes of the children in my life – and it wasn’t until the past two years I realized just how beautiful their chaos was in creating harmony and beauty.

This is the time we are entering into. If things seem REALLY chaotic right now – especially the past two weeks?  It’s because the orchestra is tuning up. The artist is mixing colors. The “show” is about to begin. This isn’t the FINAL show – it’s just the NEXT show.

The article continues this theme here:

As we begin the third month of the year we enter the energy of balance and beauty. But not just plain beauty: Kislev is the harmony that emerges after chaos. [As opposed to the month of Sivan, the harmony that has not yet ‘tasted’ discord]. Even when we experience the clash of diverse forces in our lives – within ourselves, between our communities and between nations – this new month, with its holidays, all rooted in Chanukah, empowers us with the ability to find the deeper harmony within.

So all of what is happening around us – it’s happening as INTENDED – for this purpose;

To discover harmony within diversity we need to be truthful to ourselves and to G‑d. We need “bitul” – a combination of self-suspension, modesty and humility.

And therein lies the true secret of tiferet. In addition to beauty, tiferet is also related to emet (truth). Truth means that it is true not just in one circumstance, environment or set of conditions, but in all of them. If it is true it has to be true throughout – in the beginning, middle and end (hence, the three letters of EMeT, aleph, mem, tov, the first, middle and last letters of the Hebrew Alphabet).

There is a story woven in our lives.  I heard from an African Storyteller – the difference between an anecdote and a story is this: anecdotes have a beginning and a middle. A story has a beginning, middle, and an end. The difference is in the story, the author clearly lays out the end – the message of what the reader is supposed to take away from the beginning and the middle.  In an anecdote, the author allows the reader to take away whatever they’d like. 

The problem with stories – sometimes the author is unaware the ending is not congruent with the rest of the story.  Other times, the author is clear and the reader is left confused. Or – the reader does not WANT the lesson from the ending the author is proposing so they reject it.

We know – the Universe, Hashem, God, is a perfect author. He is not confused about our story. If we are confused – it’s because we’ve rejected the end of this particular story so we are not yet ready to move to the next one – or we’ve ignored the ending and message of the story and we are not yet ready to move to the next one.  Either way, it’s because we aren’t ready.  That isn’t a judgment. It’s just the beauty of truth.

As we approach Kislev, we are as ready as we have ever been to receive the end of the chapter.  We are ready to watch the chaos unfold into a tapestry of beauty. We are as ready as we have ever been to watch the concert come together.  And – no pressure. Because if we miss it? More opportunities are sure to come!

With this spirit, let’s dig into this portion (Genesis 26:6-11):

6And Isaac dwelt in Gerar.

7And the men of the place asked about his wife, and he said, “She is my sister,” because he was afraid to say, “[She is] my wife,” [because he said,] “Lest the men of the place kill me because of Rebecca, for she is of comely appearance.”

8And it came to pass, when he had been there for many days, that Abimelech, the king of the Philistines, looked out of the window, and he saw, and behold, Isaac was jesting with Rebecca his wife.

9So Abimelech called Isaac, and he said, “Behold, she is your wife; so how could you have said, ‘She is my sister’?” And Isaac said to him, “Because I said, ‘Lest I die because of her. ‘”

10And Abimelech said, “What have you done to us? The most prominent of the people might easily have lain with your wife, and you would have brought guilt upon us.”

11And Abimelech commanded all the people, saying, “Whoever touches this man or his wife shall be put to death.”

It would seem as if Isaac did not listen to the story Hashem was speaking through Abraham.  There are many reasons why this could be.  But on THIS read? I am seeing a lesson for us that we may not have heard until now.  And it focused on this line: (Genesis 26:8):

“And it came to pass, when he had been there for many days, that Abimelech, the king of the Philistines, looked out of the window, and he saw, and behold, Isaac was jesting with Rebecca his wife.”

Now let’s reflect.  Imagine we are Isaac – and we are scared.  We are insecure. We are worried of dying because of our wife.  And now we’ve lied to the king.

Um. I am not sure about you – but I’m not sure I’d be “jesting” with my wife in public knowing the consequences of people finding out and me DYING.

Imagine ourselves – jesting with our wife in this situation – and we get called to see the king. We might be TERRIFIED. And. At the same time, Hashem has it worked out: – we see in verse 10:

10And Abimelech said, “What have you done to us? The most prominent of the people might easily have lain with your wife, and you would have brought guilt upon us.”

Hashem protected Isaac.  The Jesting was to AVOID anything happening. The truth was exposed – and seemingly created protection of the story being told.  Because? This story isn’t REALLY for Isaac to learn. Or Rebecca. The story is being told to teach US the lesson.

What is the lesson? Sometimes we are going to make mistakes. We may lie for good reason, the lie may be exposed. And instead of being afraid, we can trust the beauty of the chaos. And it may not even be a lie that is the mistake. We may get angry at someone who doesn’t deserve it because of our own emotional triggers. Regardless – the story being told through OUR lives? May not be about us.

Let me say this again.

The story being told through our lives? May not be about us.

Our purpose for being here – certainly is for us to learn lessons. We are the author of our life.  But the story we are being asked to live and tell? That may be for someone else. Our story may be the gift for someone in our lives. Our kids. Our friends. Our family.

Because THIS would explain why Isaac was blessed afterwards – the story needed to be told – so we could get the takeaway of making mistakes out of fear and because of this TRUTH IS EXPOSED and that TRUTH weaves beauty and abundance in our lives. This may be the takeaway.

Today’s portion closes with this:

12And Isaac sowed in that land, and he found in that year a hundred fold, and the Lord blessed him.

The truth was exposed – Isaac sowed land in his truth, and that was blessed!  Beauty and Abundance was about to be weaved into Isaac’s life.

What are your thoughts?