23 Shevat, 5785 - Tikkun Olam 47

on February 21, 2025

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 23 Shevat, 5785

Good morning! We are winding down this moon cycle and heading towards the month of Adar – more to come, but the idea is over the next week, it is time to set the intention for what we want to celebrate in the next cycle!

We’ve come a long way on our journey. Emotionally. Spiritually. Physically. It is time to pause and just reflect on what we are most proud of over the past year.

Adar is the last month of the Jewish cycle – Nisan is the first calendar month. Because the Jewish cycles are centered around freedom.

We’ve been focusing on the themes of grief, anxiety, dignity, and compassion

Today we add the themes of sovereignty, safety, and emotional authority.

I’ve been reflecting this morning – one the idea of emotional starvation.

How many of us feel emotionally starved?

And? What is the difference between emotional hunger and emotional starvation?

Hunger is an indicator that we have a need.

When we are physically hungry, that cue is our body’s way to remind us to nourish it.

When we are emotionally hungry, that cue is our heart’s way to remind us to nourish it.

When we are spiritually hungry, that cue is our soul’s way to remind us to nourish it.

When we fail to recognize these cues? We move toward starvation. We do. No one else.

Because no one else is responsible for feeding us as adults. As children, it was our parents job. And we are not children.

As children, it was ALSO our parent’s job to feed us emotionally. And for many of us? That didn’t work out so well. So we have grown up emotionally starved – looking for someone to come along and feed us emotionally.

And it’s our job. To recognize our emotional hunger and to feed ourselves emotionally.

Because feeding ourselves? And taking care of our emotional, physical, and spiritual hunger? Brings us to the place where we have abundance to give.

We are not victims. We are not powerless. If we can discover the root of our beliefs that bring us to this emotionally starving place? We can begin to heal the patterns within us that believe we DESERVE emotional starvation.

More to come on this. I am curious as to your thoughts.

Here are my thoughts from last year:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 30 Shevat 5784
Parsha Mishpatim: (Exodus 21:1 – 24:18)
Sixth Portion: Exodus 23:20 – 23:25

Good morning! Today is a unique day. Although the new moon is tonight, because Shevat has 30 days, we celebrate the Rosh Chodesh (Rosh means head, Chodesh means month) for TWO days. It’s a double new month. So today we celebrate the beginning of Adar I (it is a leap month as well).

So – we have a double Rosh Chodesh before a double month of Adar – which is all about celebration! What a way to end the calendar year (there are actually four new years in the Jewish calendar – which is an interesting coincidence to this double Rosh Chodesh before this Double month, isn’t it?).

This is a perfect time to set some intents on what we want to celebrate the next two months? What is the most significant thing we’ve learned over the past year? As we “start over” in two moon cycles with the first month of the year (Nisan) – and “begin again” in the Exodus (which is what we are reading right now), it is the PERFECT time to celebrate!

For me? I am celebrating this idea of sovereignty, safety, and emotional authority. I have learned this past year three things:

I am sovereign – I am responsible for my feelings, thoughts, and actions. No one “makes” me feel a certain way – but their actions instead “trigger” certain feelings in me – ones I have tried to repress and I get upset they arise, or ones I want to highlight and I find joy to experience. Regardless of how someone’s actions are – my feelings belong to me.
I am safe – I grew up believing I wasn’t safe. I have been (for most of my life) trying to survive. Most times, I get triggered into my “fight or flight” reaction instead of working to create and hold “safe space” for myself and others. I received messages as a child, and then again growing up – that there is a wild emotional monster living within me I needed to keep trapped in a cage. Letting him out (read Robert Bly’s Iron John if you want to learn more what I mean) and free is a lot safer and freeing that locking him up in a cage.
I have emotional authority – Because I am sovereign for my feelings (and in turn recognize the sovereignty of others to have THEIR feelings and not take responsibility for those feelings) – I have emotional authority within. I get to decide how I feel, what I think. No one gets to tell me or define for me how I feel, who I am, what I think. It is my choice.

These are the things I will be celebrating. And how will I be celebrating? By not getting in the way of ABUNDANCE. Because these lessons have unlocked for me the ways in which I have “gotten in my own way” of abundance coming in my life. This is emotional abundance, financial abundance, etc.

With this, let’s dig into today’s Torah portion. It is quite interesting. We’ve been looking at the “laws” (Mishpatim is the name of our Parsha) all week. Today’s portion is short. And it’s a break from studying the ways for us to connect with Hashem and others. I want to remind us of the themes we have been looking at, as we come out of slavery and into the wilderness:

Grief
Anxiety
Dignity
Compassion

Let’s dig in:

20Behold, I am sending an angel before you to guard you on the way and to bring you to the place that I have prepared.

21Beware of him and obey him; do not rebel against him, for he will not forgive your transgression, for My Name is within him.

22For if you hearken to his voice and do all that I say, I will hate your enemies and oppress your adversaries.

23For My angel will go before you, and bring you to the Amorites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Canaanites, the Hivvites, and the Jebusites, and I will destroy them.

What do I read here? Safe. We are safe.

Unless.

We are not mindful and disconnect from Hashem. Hashem is sending us an angel. To guard us. To bring us to the place we have prepared.

I am reflecting on this angel. Who is this angel in our lives?

I have a radical answer.

It is us.

Our Neshama.

We are safe.

Let me re-write this section a bit:

Behold, I gave you your Neshama – a part of the One Soul (Hashem) – to guard you on this journey and bring you to the place I prepared for you
Listen to your Neshama. Follow your Neshama. Do not rebel against your Neshama. He will not forgive the times you transgressed against your intuition – your Neshama. Because He can’t forgive those actions.
If you listen to your Neshama and do what I am encouraging you to do – which is to love MY creation? Anyone who sees you as a villain? Who sees you as an enemy? I’ll deal with.

Now. Let me say this. That part about not forgiving our transgressions? We have to ask ourselves – is there a difference between forgiving our transgressions and forgiving US? I think there is.

What we did in a moment – that cannot be forgiven. Because if we do not listen to our Neshama- if we REACT out of fear? We treat SOMEONE ELSE as a villain – and if we see Hashem’s creation as a Villain? He makes the SAME promise to them as He makes to us. He must deal with us the way He will deal with others who see us as a villain.

So Hashem will forgive us. And in this moment – we can “begin again” and die to the things that we did – that Hashem cannot forgive. And be reborn in EVERY moment – to something new to make decisions to live in our hearts – our soul center – the part of us that is Hashem.

And this is what Yom Kippur is all about – a wiping away of the times we acted out of fear. When we treated our creation as an enemy. And this has consequences:

23For My angel will go before you, and bring you to the Amorites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Canaanites, the Hivvites, and the Jebusites, and I will destroy them.

Gets rewritten as:

Because you are connected to your Neshama – it is connected and will bring you to people who will SEE YOU as an enemy – and – they will be dealt with for seeing you act in love and be seen as an enemy.

There is comfort here.

Safety.

Sovereignty.

Emotional Authority.

Let’s close today’s portion:

24You shall not prostrate yourself before their gods, and you shall not worship them, and you shall not follow their practices, but you shall tear them down and you shall utterly shatter their monuments.

25And you shall worship the Lord, your God, and He will bless your food and your drink, and I will remove illness from your midst.

We should not follow the practices of those who see us as an enemy. If we are living out our purpose. If we listen to our Neshama. If we allow Hashem to guide us, and discipline us lovingly. Hashem will bless us. We will have abundance; “He will bless your food and your drink, and I will remove illness from your midst.”