26 Nisan, 5783. Day 11 of the Omer

on April 17, 2023

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 26 Nisan, 5783. 11th Day of the Omer.

As we continue our double portion this week, let’s start with the Omer. Today’s theme is the “Netzach of Gevurah” or the “Determination of Discipline.”

From Chabad:

“Effective discipline must be enduring and tenacious. Is my discipline consistent or only when forced? Am I perceived as a weak disciplinarian?

Exercise for the day: Extend the plan you made on day two for a longer period of time, listing short-term and long-term goals and review and update it each day, and see how consistent you are; if you follow through.”

As I take stock of this – I look at the practices I have developed for my self care, and how they have become longer term, determined Disciplines. Meditation, Journaling, Drinking a 32oz cup of water when I wake up, Torah study, Davening. I have developed these disciplines that feed my mind, body, and soul. I am good at this follow through.

And there are OTHER disciplines I am not as good at following through. That’s what I am reflecting on.

Below you will find commentary from last year. As I reflect this go around, I am thinking about risk. Emotional and Physical Risk. You may have seen the pictures of me from my hike to Judds Falls. When we got to the falls, I knew immediately I wanted to climb. I had prepared myself for water – i was wearing the bathing suit, i had flip flops so I could put my feet in the water.

I looked and surveyed the ascent. Could i have gotten hurt? Sure. And I realized. I could take it one step at a time. Make sure each step was secure. If there was no way forward, I could turn back.

And I made it. You can see in the pictures on my feed – I had my fists in the air in victory. Because I am proud of my body at 51 – that I can do something like climb up a waterfall in flip flops.

This is the salient point from my writings a year ago:

“Life is about opening yourself up with others to the possibility of being burned and wounded with Tzerarat. The Torah doesn’t tell us to avoid this; until we are afflicted with it; then we separate ourselves from the population to protect OTHERS. “

As I navigate this in my life – being vulnerable and opening myself up with others; friends, kids, professionals. I am opening myself to being burned. I am opening myself up to being wounded with Tzerarat.

And. I am reflecting on all the deep wounds from my past. And how I have healed them (or not). And how many of those wounds have festered with Tzerarat and have cut me off from living my best life? Having adventures? Taking risks?

These are my thoughts. What are yours?

This was my commentary from a year ago:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 27 Adar II, 5782

Let us keep going on this journey of Tzara’at (leprosy).

Today we explore burns and leprosy. Before we dig in, I’m reflecting on how we suffer literal burns; but I also think about the spiritual or emotional burns we suffer because of a fire caused in our hearts. How often are we burned by others, and we don’t take time to examine the wound to look for leprosy (toxicity) so that the wound (emotion or otherwise) can heal?

So as we dig in, I’m reflecting on how we can apply these concepts emotionally and spiritually as well!

The portion starts today with Hashem saying “if a person has a burn caused by fire on their skin, and on the healed area of the burn there is a streaked red and white spot or a white spot, the priest should examine it.”

So. Right away, when we are emotionally burned by someone, and we believe we are healing from that; and we see an issue; we are called to have a priest (rabbi, therapist, etc) explore it with us. To know whether this is a normal part of the emotional healing process, or whether there is some form of disease that could make things worse for us in the future.

Here is what the priest is supposed to look for;

– if the appearance is deeper than the skin AND the black hair has turned golden, he is spiritual impure. It is a netek lesion; which is Tzara’at of the head or beard area.

– if the netek lesion is not deeper than the skin and there is no black hair hair in it, the priest should quarantine the person for seven days

So let’s stop. After a wound is discovered and we are unsure if it’s just a burn or something worse; we still need time to heal and look for clarity.

On the seventh day of the quarantine the priest should examine the lesion again:

– if the netek has spread or it has golden hair in it then the priest should declare him ritually impure.

– if it has not spread, and there is no golden hair in it, then the afflicted person should shave himself around the netek. They should leave a two-hair border around the netek to determine if it’s spreading or not. And then quarantine the person 7 more days.

After seven more days, the priest should examine the netek again;

– if it hasn’t spread and the appearance is not deeper than the skin, the priest should declare them ritually pure. However, because the person was quarantined, the garments need to be cleansed

– if it HAS spread, the priest doesn’t need to look for golden hair because the person is ritually impure.

– if it has remained the same or if dark hair has grown into it, the netek is healed. He is ritually pure.

Finally, the portion concludes with discussing white spots.

If it is merely Just white spots on the skin of their flesh, the priest should still examine them: – but if it’s just devoid of pigment, the priest would render them ritually pure.

So – my thoughts here. When we engage with others and they impact us; it can be something really changing about our character (leprosy) that needs to be addressed and quarantined. It can be something impactful, but it will heal with time. Or it could just be a change in pigment: with no real deep impact (it’s only skin deep).

Life is about opening yourself up with others to the possibility of being burned and wounded with Tzerarat. The Torah doesn’t tell us to avoid this; until we are afflicted with it; then we separate ourselves from the population to protect OTHERS.

We either address the deep leprosy within us, or we continue affecting others.

If the wound is smaller, and not leprosy; we still need healing; quarantine of at least two weeks. Then a determination can be made whether this is something really deep like leprosy – or just a small wound that will heal on its own.

Finally, some things are minute; we carry them with us in a change of the pigment of our skin; but not something that alters who we are.

Interesting thoughts today. I’m curious as to what you think!

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 28 Adar II, 5782

Good morning! Today, we are going to look at suspected Tzara’at of the head and beard area.

It is interested that yesterday’s focus was on burns; and we discussed emotional burns and how they can either be leprosy or healed. Today we are focused on the head.

Going into this passage, I am reflecting on our brains; how our brains experience trauma and how that trauma may be Tzara’at or it may be – or it may be something else. Let’s dig in;

Once again if there is a lesion on the head or face, the priest should examine it. If it looks deeper than the skin and the black hair in it has turned golden, they are to be considered ritually impure.

If the priest looks at the lesion and it is not deeper than the skin, and there is no black hair in it (which would render it ritually pure) then the priest should quarantine the person for seven days.

Now. Something I’m noticing in this weeks Parsha. Hair seems to be crucial. Is what grows from the lesion black, white, golden? That is an indicator of the type of lesion it is. If black hair grows from the lesion, the person is ritually impure. If there is no hair, they go into quarantine. If there is white or golden hair, it’s Tzara’at.

That’s important to consider. What is produced from our trauma? If it’s emotional trauma; there needs to be a recognition of healing; and if what is produced from the healing is “black hair” then you know you have healed to the point of being “ritually pure” which I would equate to being emotionally healthy. Maybe not perfect emotional health: but certain pure enough to connect with others.

Now when it comes to the brain; which is our focus today; with brain trauma it is the same thing. When our brains experience trauma, we need to have a priest (therapist?) help us determine whether what is being produced in our lives is “black hair” or “white hair” or “golden hair.” Or if nothing is produced then to quarantine us.

We cannot figure this out by ourselves; the Torah seems pretty clear on this. Our own self judgment of our wounds/lesions requires someone (someones?) with authority to look at our trauma to help Us figure out whether we are “impure” (which I would equate to having a ton of work to do before being ready to connect with others) or whether we just need to be quarantined (a temporary stay away for a period of time) or whether we are “pure” and healthy to engage.

These are just thoughts of mine, mind you; please don’t take this with any kind of authority. I’m just working to connect the Torah to our lives in a practical way.

I do believe the Torah will tell us how we move from being “impure” with Tzara’at to regaining purity; but I might be wrong. We may be isolated for a long time.

But for today; the internal and external assessment of where we are at is paramount. When we experience a lesion; or a trauma – what kind of hair does it produce. That’s what I’m really reflecting on.

Ok. Let’s keep going; but the portion parallels yesterdays portion about the burn.

If the person is in quarantine, after seven days the priest should examine the lesion again; if it’s spread or hairs grow golden, then they are ritually impure.

Ok. So I need to stop for a moment and apologize. Yesterday’s Torah thoughts overlap with todays. I realized that the thoughts about end of yesterdays portion were actually focused on today’s portion.

I’m reflecting on why that happened. I do believe Hashem works things out for our good; there must have been a good reason for this. But here is what we are to do with a lesion of the face that hasn’t changed in the seven day quarantine:

If There is no change, the person shave around the lesion (netek) and they should leave a two-hair border around the netek to determine if it’s spreading or not. And then quarantine the person 7 more days.

After seven more days, the priest should examine the netek again;

– if it hasn’t spread and the appearance is not deeper than the skin, the priest should declare them ritually pure. However, because the person was quarantined, the garments need to be cleansed

– if it HAS spread, the priest doesn’t need to look for golden hair because the person is ritually impure.

– if it has remained the same or if dark hair has grown into it, the netek is healed. He is ritually pure.

Finally, the portion concludes with discussing white spots.

If it is merely Just white spots on the skin of their flesh, the priest should still examine them – but if it’s just devoid of pigment, the priest would render them ritualy pure.

Ok. So. What this tells me is that maybe my own head and heart might be conflicting with one another; yesterday instead of focusing on the emotions and heart, my brain wanted to dig into my headspace.

How often does this happen to us? Where we get our brain and our emotions mixed up. Which drives us? And is that caused by trauma or is that normal? Is that a lesion?

Just some things I’m reflecting on.

It’s really interesting as I study the Torah. To sort things out; and to determine (with the help of others) where I am at; are these lesions (wounds) deep? Are they minor?

This Torah study went in a completely different direction today. Interesting.

I’m curious as to your thoughts!

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