Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 29 Tamuz, 5783

Today is the final day of Tamuz. As the sun sets this evening, we will transition into a new Moon cycle, and a new month. I am reflecting on how this past month has sharpened my vision to “see in the darkness.”  There have been moments of shadow and chaos – things I really struggled with.  And there have been moments of blessing and light.  As I shed what I want to leave behind – and focus on what I want to take with me into this next cycle, I keep coming back to love, compassion, empathy, kindness.  For myself. And for others.  I want to focus on this as we enter into the month of Av.

The month of Av is a challenge.  The word “Av” means “father.”  For me personally, that brings up all sorts of emotions and feelings. Chabad does a great job explaining the month here: Chabad Month of Av

One of the first things they share is how it is customary to add the word “Menachem” to the month – Menachem Av. Menachem means comforter. Consoler.

You see what happened at the beginning of Av has not been fantastic for our people.  Here is a quote from the website: “In this month, both Temples were destroyed and many other tragedies occurred. Yet our Father in heaven is there to comfort and console us.”

It is a good reminder that even if we judge a moment to be “bad” Hashem is working it out for our “good.”  Every moment exists for our good. Sometimes that is revealed in a moment.  Sometimes, we need to wait to see how it will be good.

The day of “Tisha B’Av” (9th of Av) happens (that will occur the evening of July 26th until sundown on July 27th) which is the day the first and second temples were destroyed on the same day.

What are the “temples” in our lives that have been destroyed? What have we seemingly lost?  Those are things we will be asked to confront – for the first two weeks of the moon cycle.  But as soon as we hit the 9th of Av? Things will turn around and light will come – the light of the Full moon which will hit on the 15th of Av (which happens at sundown on July 31st until Sundown of August 1st).

Chabad writes this: “the 15th of Av, a day designated for finding one’s predestined soulmate, and one of the happiest days on the Jewish calendar.”

So we have darkness and light.  Where as we are leaving Tamuz – where the light and dark were integrated, Av is different in that we will be asked to use our lenses to fully see in the darkness until the 9th of Av.

This relates to our Torah portion.  Deuteronomy continues to be a reflection.  A time to reflect before turning the page of our lives.

I once heard a synagogue talk about the vision of where the board of directors saw them heading.  The used the analogy of a car which was helpful.  It is important to look in the rearview mirror – to reflect on the past – and where we’ve come from.  We need to look at it from different angles – that is what the side view mirrors are for.  We get three different perspectives of our past realities – but our main focus is on the road we are on. And the road ahead.  If we try to turn the car and drive backwards, using ONLY the rearview and side view mirrors to try and get where we are going? It’s going to be a struggle.  Despite watching the Disney movie “Cars” with my kids an infinite amount of times, I am not Mater – I can’t be agile while driving backwards.  I am moving forwards.

Moses brings us the rearview mirror before entering the promised land.  He is reflecting back on our journey to get to where we are – at the border of the promised land.  And we are reviewing the past not to stay stuck – but (in my opinion) because Moses wants us to leave ALL OF IT behind as we enter into the new chapter of our journey.  So much so, that today’s portion ends with being told we will have a new leader for this next segment – Joshua.  Joshua will be the one to lead us into the promised land. Joshua the spy who gave us the truth about the promised land prior – the leader we didn’t listen to.  Joshua will now be in charge.

So as we enter Av – we all have a choice.  Do we stay stuck on the page we are on – dwelling on what we see in the rearview mirror, trying to move our lives forward? Or do we turn the car around and make new choices? We are not bound by our patterns of behavior.  Moses tells us to look ahead. Joshua is our future. Trust him.

Where are we needing to turn the page and move forward? Where is the page we need to turn and not be locked in by old patterns because our brains have trained us to react to certain stimulus without much thought? This is the time we are in – a time of reflection in the darkness.

May our transition to this new cycle bring us joy and change!

What are your thoughts?

Here is my commentary from a year ago:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 5 Av, 5782

I got a picture of the moon last night. It is interesting to me how quickly it grew from the weekend. It went from a sliver to almost a quarter in the span of a few days. I have been spending time meditating on the moon lately. The Hebrew calendar is centered around the moon and I really reflect on “why?” Our Gregorian calendar centers the sun.

I’m thinking about this; and I wonder if the idea of reflecting on the moon continues to be about cycles, and reflecting light.

Our body is not the sun. If the sun represents Hashem’s energy, the sun is inside of us. But our bodies can only reflect the light of the sun (just like the moon). And, we are destined to go through cycles – like the moon. There may be times in our lives where we are a full moon, reflecting the fullness of our Neshama – for others to light their way. Other times we are new moons, with no light reflecting – and we can grow to learn to ”see in the dark” AND/or allow others light reflected to guide our path.

We see this notion of cycles with women, don’t we? And those cycles tend to be connected to moon cycles- 28 days. That’s not scientific as (I’m guessing) most women don’t have 28 day cycles.

I want to reflect more on this as we continue in the book of Deuteronomy. The idea of cycles and reflections.

Let’s dig into today’s portion:

We have been standing at the Jordan with Moses before entering the promised land. Moses has been rebuking the people for their past. He’s going over the journeys and the cycles we’ve lived. Yesterday we left off with Moses reminding the people about the spies. God gave them the land; all they had to do was go and take it. It was theirs. But they doubted.

Today’s portion begins with reminding them of their doubts: Moses reminds them “you all approached me in a rowdy mob and said “let’s send men ahead of us who will search out the land for us and bring us back a report…”. Moses even seems to own that he thought it was a good idea as well. So this wasn’t “you messed up” it was “we miscalculated.”

The rebellion was the report of the spies. Instead of hearing how tough things were going to be and applying that to God’s power and miracles, the people decided not to go. Even with Moses trying to convince them God was big enough to do it.

He reminds them of just how much Hashem fulfills his promises. We merely need to trust. Trust the cycles of life. There are moments of darkness, and we can be afraid that the darkness will never leave; or we can trust the cycle will come and the light will shine if we allow it.

And. To close today’s portion, Moses tells the people; Joshua was going to lead them into the promised land.

So much to reflect on. What are your thoughts?