Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 29 Tevet, 5785
Good morning! We are so close to the new moon; transitioning from one cycle of chaos for the purpose of repair to a NEW cycle (the month of Shevat) which is all about order. We will have two weeks of harshness. We will celebrate the new year of the Trees! When Trees shift energetically and start moving towards LIFE again. And then the second half of the cycle will represent growth and life for us.
Before we jump into this cycle, we have one or two more reminders we need to bring with us as we see in the darkness and harshness in front of us.
Grief.
Just sit with that.
Grief.
How does your body react to reading that word?
Is your first reaction in your mind? Do you have thoughts?
Grief.
Feel it. What does it feel like reading that – in your body?
Because this is it. If you want to love, you must be willing to grieve. If you want to BE loved, you must be willing to grieve. If you want to BE LOVE – you must accept grief.
What if? That is the point?
What if? You can only love something to the level of grief you are willing to accept in losing it?
And? That goes for our self?
And? Our ego.
Because today’s portion is all about the ego.
If we are unwilling to lose our ego, we will be limited in our capacity for love. Because it requires us to lose our ego to love our self. Our true self. The deepest parts of our hearts, body, and soul. Completely OUT of our head and INTO our body.
This is the crossing of the sea. This is the slavery of egypt (Ego) that we are working to free ourselves from.
And there isn’t work involved.
Just grief.
If we block grief? We block freedom.
And this brings us to the final plague.
Death.
Grief.
And we are not necessarily talking a literal death – though that can be a part of our learning to navigate our grief.
It may be the death of something we’ve held onto for a LONG time – a belief – a routine – a paradigm – that we believe has kept us safe. When, in fact? It has kept us in prison. It has blocked us from love. It has blocked us from being loved. It has blocked us from being love.
And I can see why the tree might be so significant in this process.
We have the opportunity to love something living – something organic – something symbiotic (trees provide live giving oxygen) – that we are really NEVER required to grieve – UNLESS – we take action to remove the tree.
Because trees will outlive us – if we don’t intervene. And? They pass on our souls from one generation to the next.
Contemplate this. Our breath – the breath of life – is what trees photosynthesize into oxygen. So the air we breathe? Is literally the air of those humans who have lived before us – filtered through the trees and plants on this earth.
The trees are connective of our collective being. They move us into more interdependence. That is what they represent.
The trees are the fulcrum for us. To move from the grief of our ego? This is darkness. And into the light of the interdependence of life. That is what will be energetically happening all around us at the next full moon.
Will we be in a place to catch that wave?
Grief.
These are my thoughts. What are yours?
Here are my thoughts from last year:
Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 7 Shevat 5784
Parsha Bo’: (Exodus 10:1 – 13:16)
Fourth Portion: Exodus 11:4 – 12:20
Good morning!
We are halfway through this harshness of Shevat. Tu B’Shevat (the full moon) is a week away – where we will plant NEW trees and begin again!
For the past two years, I have been at this passage in various states of the storm. If you read below, you will see – in 5782, I could see I was in the Calm before the Storm. In 5783, I could see I was in the Storm before the Calm. This year? I am in the Calm OF the Storm. I am safe. I am home. I am free.
Let’s dig into the portion!
We are at the final plague. The final process for Pharoah to let the Israelites go. Here is what Moses tells Pharoah. His last chance:
4Moses said, “So said the Lord, At the dividing point of the night, I will go out into the midst of Egypt,
5and every firstborn in the land of Egypt will die, from the firstborn of Pharaoh who sits on his throne to the firstborn of the slave woman who is behind the millstones, and every firstborn animal.
6And there will be a great cry throughout the entire land of Egypt, such as there never has been and such as there shall never be again.
7But to all the children of Israel, not one dog will whet its tongue against either man or beast, in order that you shall know that the Lord will separate between the Egyptians and between Israel.
8And all these servants of yours will come down to me and prostrate themselves to me, saying, ‘Go out, you and all the people who are at your feet,’ and afterwards I will go out.” [Then] he [Moses] exited from Pharaoh with burning anger.
So Moses told Pharoah what was going to happen. All for the purpose to grieve. Because grief is the pathway to freedom.
I was speaking with a friend about this. Our souls have chosen grief. Our souls – without our bodies – would never understand what grief is. Our souls – Hashem – our Neshamas – have CHOSEN to need our bodies. Why?
To understand grief.
This sounds harsh, doesn’t it?
And. Reflect on this.
Without grief? How could we know forgiveness? Empathy? Grace? Devotion? Compassion? Clarity? Just to name a few.
Just reflect on that. Limiting ourselves in this way? We experience so much more than the unlimited source of souls we come from.
This is our humanity.
Hashem has chosen to need us. He could have chosen not to. But this is where we find ourselves. Let’s keep going:
9The Lord said to Moses, “Pharaoh will not heed you, in order to increase My miracles in the land of Egypt.”
I always find this interesting when we read it. Pharoah doesn’t listen for the PURPOSE of increasing Hashem’s miracles in Egypt.
I wonder. Just a thought.
Is Israel our self? Is Egypt our body? Is Pharaoh the ego?
Is Hashem hardening our ego for the purpose of Egypt and Israel (body and self) seeing more miracles?
Does grief impact our ego because our ego struggles to grieve?
I’m reflecting on this concept; “The Heart of Ego.” Hashem has been strengthening the heart of ego this entire time. For what purpose?
Surrender. And our ego hates that, huh? We don’t want to surrender. Let’s see what happens here:
10Moses and Aaron had performed all these miracles before Pharaoh, but the Lord strengthened Pharaoh’s heart, and he did not let the children of Israel out of his land.
And now? We get the prescription for Passover:
1The Lord spoke to Moses and to Aaron in the land of Egypt, saying,
2This month shall be to you the head of the months; to you it shall be the first of the months of the year.
Passover is the beginning of the physical calendar. When the plagues happen, and the ego is destroyed so that we may grieve and be free.
3Speak to the entire community of Israel, saying, “On the tenth of this month, let each one take a lamb for each parental home, a lamb for each household.
4But if the household is too small for a lamb, then he and his neighbor who is nearest to his house shall take [one] according to the number of people, each one according to one’s ability to eat, shall you be counted for the lamb.
5You shall have a perfect male lamb in its [first] year; you may take it either from the sheep or from the goats.
6And you shall keep it for inspection until the fourteenth day of this month, and the entire congregation of the community of Israel shall slaughter it in the afternoon.
10th day, select a lamb. Inspect on the 14th day of the month, and slaughter.
7And they shall take [some] of the blood and put it on the two doorposts and on the lintel, on the houses in which they will eat it.
8And on this night, they shall eat the flesh, roasted over the fire, and unleavened cakes; with bitter herbs they shall eat it.
9You shall not eat it rare or boiled in water, except roasted over the fire its head with its legs and with its innards.
10And you shall not leave over any of it until morning, and whatever is left over of it until morning, you shall burn in fire.
11And this is how you shall eat it: your loins girded, your shoes on your feet, and your staff in your hand; and you shall eat it in haste it is a Passover sacrifice to the Lord.
And Hashem is saying LETS GOOOOO!!!!!! We are getting ready to leave Egypt. To leave the Ego!
12I will pass through the land of Egypt on this night, and I will smite every firstborn in the land of Egypt, both man and beast, and upon all the gods of Egypt will I wreak judgments I, the Lord.
13And the blood will be for you for a sign upon the houses where you will be, and I will see the blood and skip over you, and there will be no plague to destroy [you] when I smite the [people of the] land of Egypt.
14And this day shall be for you as a memorial, and you shall celebrate it as a festival for the Lord; throughout your generations, you shall celebrate it as an everlasting statute.
Then – the ultimate grief will come to the Ego – to Pharaoh. He will lose his first born. And. This is a significant date. Every year – we will do this. Here is the prescription for Passover.
15For seven days you shall eat unleavened cakes, but on the preceding day you shall clear away all leaven from your houses, for whoever eats leaven from the first day until the seventh day that soul shall be cut off from Israel.
16And on the first day there shall be a holy convocation, and on the seventh day you shall have a holy convocation; no work may be performed on them, but what is eaten by any soul that alone may be performed for you.
17And you shall watch over the unleavened cakes, for on this very day I have taken your legions out of the land of Egypt, and you shall observe this day throughout your generations, [as] an everlasting statute.
18In the first [month], on the fourteenth day of the month in the evening, you shall eat unleavened cakes, until the twenty first day of the month in the evening.
19For seven days, leavening shall not be found in your houses, for whoever eats leavening that soul shall be cut off from the community of Israel, both among the strangers and the native born of the land.
20You shall not eat any leavening; throughout all your dwellings you shall eat unleavened cakes.”
So this is crucial for us. We need to grieve. And remember that grief. Because we forget.
What are your thoughts?
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