Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 28 Tevet, 5785

Good morning! Today’s portion is about Pharaoh continuing to try to negotiate with Moses regarding the sacrifice the Jews were called to make in the desert.

The plague from yesterday was darkness. Darkness fell, and Pharaoh was willing to bargain a little more. This time he was willing to let go of the children to go with the Israelites to go sacrifice. But was unwilling to release the animals required of the sacrifice.

Here is a man (Pharaoh) who has been shown ALL the evidence he is not in charge here. And he still refuses to surrender. Darkness.  He was in utter darkness.

And that wasn’t enough.

Yesterday, in therapy, my therapist and I were discussing the differences between feeling stuck, feeling impatient, and feeling rest. And how there are a lot of nuances to those feelings.

I can see now, it really has to do with the level of surrender, and our beliefs.

Feeling stuck is connected to the belief that I have the ability under normal circumstances to move freely, but I cannot move in this moment where I want to go. I am stuck.  It’s about movement.

Feeling impatient is the recognition of the belief that I may not always have control of the outcomes, but believe the outcomes I am desiring should be closer than they are. I am comfortable with being where I am, I am free to move about, but the timing is not yet right. I am impatient.

However, the idea of rest? It’s the surrender that I am exactly where I need to be – surrendered that if the universe has me here, and not there? It is so I can catch my breath. And just be. And not worry about the next step, and not worry about timing. And just be. I am at rest.

So I think the feelings all overlap – the reaction is based on our beliefs about it.

I think.

I am curious to your thoughts?

Because we are on the precipice of something.

Because Pharaoh tells Moses – you aren’t going to see me again. Because if you do “you will die.” That was the sign for the final plague. One last plague – and it was time to get the people ready.

Rest = readiness.

What are we doing with our rest to be READY to move when the opportunity arrives?

To receive what we are attracting?

Because as the new moon arrives? We are going to enter into two weeks of harshness. TO get ourselves ready for the planting of a NEW tree on Tu B’Shevat. And that will produce BEAUTIFUL fruit for years to come.

What are your thoughts?

Here are my thoughts from last year:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 6 Shevat 5784
Parsha Bo’: (Exodus 10:1 – 13:16)
Third Portion: Exodus 10:24 – 11:3

Good morning! We are moving towards the end of the first quarter of this moon cycle. The light of the full moon is about a week away. The trees are being uprooted. New trees are coming in.

Where are we working within us? 

A year ago, I wrote this, and it feels very salient for today:

I really encourage us to reflect on our own processes of freedom and liberation – while at the same time imagine how we may be blocking someone ELSE’s path to freedom and liberation.

Let’s dig in!  We left off with darkness.  Yesterday was all about darkness.  We are in the dark about our grief:

24Pharaoh summoned Moses and said, “Go! Worship the Lord, but your flocks and your cattle shall be left. Your young children may also go with you.”

Again – Pharoah is still bargaining. Moses responds:

25But Moses said, “You too shall give sacrifices and burnt offerings into our hands, and we will make them for the Lord our God.

26And also our cattle will go with us; not a [single] hoof will remain, for we will take from it to worship the Lord our God, and we do not know how [much] we will worship the Lord until we arrive there.”

27The Lord strengthened Pharaoh’s heart, and he was unwilling to let them out.

There is no bargain to be made with grief.

This is the message. We cannot bargain with grief. It’s all or nothing. If we want to be free with our grief, we need to embrace it, let go of the past, let go of the root. The only way we can be free is the grief. To be free. Clean slate. In this moment.

And how does Pharaoh respond?

28Pharaoh said to him, “Go away from me! Beware! You shall no longer see my face, for on the day that you see my face, you shall die!”

Sounds like Pharoah is getting angry to me. Pharoah hasn’t really experienced anger or sadness (part of the Kubler Ross grief model) but it seems like he is starting to, doesn’t it?

Here’s Moses response:

29[Thereupon,] Moses said, “You have spoken correctly; I shall no longer see your face.”

These are (I think) the last words Moses says to Pharaoh. Let’s keep going:

11:1The Lord said to Moses, “I will bring one more plague upon Pharaoh and upon Egypt; afterwards he will let you go from here. When he lets you out, he will completely drive you out of here.

2Please, speak into the ears of the people, and let them borrow, each man from his friend and each woman from her friend, silver vessels and golden vessels.”

3So the Lord gave the people favor in the Egyptians’ eyes; also the man Moses was highly esteemed in the land of Egypt in the eyes of Pharaoh’s servants and in the eyes of the people.

Pharoah is unaware of what is happening here – Hashem is telling Moses – get the people ready. And Hashem did his part – he got Egypt ready to release.

What are your thoughts?