Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 8 Cheshvan, 5784
Parsha Lekh Lekha: (Genesis 12:1 -17:27) 
Second Portion: Genesis 12:14- 13:4

It’s interesting. The past two years looking back, I seemed to really struggle with this portion.  Today, I think I have a better handle on it.

We left yesterday on a cliffhanger. Abram asks Sarai to lie – in order to protect him.  To protect his soul. What will she do?

The Torah does not mention specifically that Sarai honored the request of Abram – which I find really interesting.  This is what the Torah says:

14And it came to pass when Abram came to Egypt, that the Egyptians saw the woman, that she was very pretty.

15And Pharaoh’s princes saw her, and they praised her to Pharaoh, and the woman was taken to the house of Pharaoh.

16And he benefited Abram for her sake, and he had flocks and cattle and he donkeys and men servants and maid servants, and she donkeys and camels.

So it would seem; Sarai did what Abram asked her to do.  But the Torah does NOT record this. It keeps no record of her doing this.  It only records Abram’s actions here.  But wait, not only does it record Abram’s actions, as it relates to Sarai?  We read here:

17And the Lord plagued Pharaoh [with] great plagues as well as his household, on account of Sarai, Abram’s wife.

18And Pharaoh summoned Abram, and he said, “What is this that you have done to me? Why did you not tell me that she was your wife?

19Why did you say, ‘She is my sister,’ so that I took her to myself for a wife? And now, here is your wife; take [her] and go.”

20And Pharaoh commanded men on his behalf, and they escorted him and his wife and all that was his.

Sarai said nothing, according to Pharaoh – Abram is the one who told Pharaoh and his men that Sarai was his sister.

And there can’t be a question here – Pharaoh says “I took her to myself for a wife.”  I believe Pharoah had to know the plagues were connected to knowing Sarai in a way he should not have known.

Something I am reflecting on this year.  Value.  What is a person’s value?  In one sense, we may judge this situation as Sarai having no value.  HOW could Abram ask Sarai to do this?  Doesn’t he VALUE her as a wife?  How could he ask her to betray their marriage?

Yet, it would seem Abram valued something more. The Torah seems to value something more, and this is where this portion makes more sense (in my opinion).

What is the value of a woman? 

If it is her beauty? This story would have looked VERY different. Think about it.  Abram was saying Sarai had beauty – and he was concerned about the impact her beauty would have when they entered the land – ON HIS SOUL.  He knew (rightly) that Pharoah would take Sarai and likely kill Abram (releasing his soul) if Abram was Sarai’s husband. Abram knew his soul had more purpose and work to do on this earth.

Abram valued LIFE. And when it came to Sarai, his wife, Abram knew there was NO GREATER RISK to his life than her. This communicates VALUE.  If he did not value Sarai, Abram could have made a different choice.  Instead of asking Sarai to be his sister – he could have just ignored the attachment he had to Sarai and just divorced her. Cast her aside. Told her to “stay in the car” as he went into Egypt.

But no.  Abram wasn’t willing to let Sarai go.  He VALUED her.  Sarai’s beauty wasn’t what Abram valued.  It was her SOUL.  It was his SOUL.  It was THEIR connection to Hashem.

Because Pharoah had no doubt of Hashem’s power through this process.  Pharaoh could NOT ignore the relationship Hashem had with Abram and Sarai.  Sarai’s POWER is what gave her value. And, Abram knew this.

I am beginning to think maybe Abram didn’t do the wrong thing here.  He made the best choice given the circumstances.  This is why Abram and Sarai were BOTH rewarded.  Abram trusted Hashem more than he trusted his marriage and attachment to Sarai as husband/wife.   And it would appear they were rewarded.

Because this is how today’s portion ends (bold highlights mine):

1And Abram came up from Egypt, he and his wife and all that was his, and Lot with him, to the south.

2And Abram was very heavy with cattle, with silver, and with gold.

3And he went on his journeys, from the south and until Beth el, until the place where his tent had been previously, between Beth el and between Ai.

4To the place of the altar that he had made at first, and Abram called there in the name of the Lord.

Abram and Sarai had a LOT of stuff with them.  THEY were blessed.  And they came full circle. And Abram reconnected with Hashem.  Abram and Hashem were primary.  Abram and Sarai were secondary. And Sarai was still important to Abram.  But not as important as Hashem.

Let me close with this.  Think about Sarai’s POWER.  Think about her VALUE in all of this.  She knew the father of our people.  She was the MOTHER of all of us as Jews.  AND.  She knew a great king.  She knew the Pharaoh.  And she wasn’t punished for this. She is both a mother and a queen.  That’s value.

Yet we don’t think about this, naturally, do we?  We just see Abram pawning his wife off on Pharaoh.  We see Abram casting aside his wife just to live.  And, as I reflect on this, I can see; my own devaluing of the feminine as being the reason I bring this lens to this portion of the Torah.  Because I HAVE BELIEVED men have more power than women (growing up in Patriarchal America) I bring my own values and beliefs to this story.  So many times before.  I now see, the power and value Sarai has.

What are your thoughts?

Here is my commentary from the past two years:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 6 Cheshvan, 5783

Wow. I look back here and the engaged conversation about today’s passage (from a year ago below) and it is really interesting. This time upon reading it, I reflect within.

How often do we have this same conversation within? We tell ourselves “put on an act for someone else, and they will favor me?”

We put on masks – for the benefit of a better relationship with others. We think it’s safer. We think it will produce more abundance.

And at first, it seems like this is a working strategy. Abram at the beginning of today’s portion was given gifts by Pharaoh because of the mask Sarai put on.

We see quick rewards putting on a mask for others. But then? Things change. And they start to change for the other person first. They become afflicted.

When we pretend to be someone we are not, things eventually come to light. And the problem starts for those we’ve pretended with. “God afflicted Pharaoh and his household with a severe disease because of Sarai.”

These gifts we get from masking? They turn south.

And then how often do we leave that friendship or relationship only to start over again? To mask up, get the gifts, and then things turn south we leave and look for a new Pharaoh?

Pharaoh’s reaction here is interesting. Pharaoh recognized Abram’s divinity before Abram did in many ways. He gave men orders to protect Abram. He wasn’t necessarily angry at Abram; he was upset because of the way it impacted him.

How do we relate to putting on masks and pretending we are something we are not for the benefit of others?

Being true to ourselves is crucial; that’s what I get this time reading the passage.

What about you? Thoughts?

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 5 Heshvan, 5782

Today’s portion is challenging. I could really use some help from y’all as you chew on it!

The story is about how the decision of Abram to ask his wife to pretend to be his sister played itself out.

Basically, Pharaoh’s people saw Sarai and brought her to him. Pharaoh bestowed gifts on Abram.

But then, Hashem afflicted Pharaoh and his household because he had another man’s wife.

Pharaoh figured it out, and gave Sarai back to Abram and sent people to protect Abram and Sarai and their possessions.

Before I share my thoughts; I need to acknowledge I share with the lens of my identity as a man. I am really curious as to the thoughts of women here, because I imagine the approach to this portion (Genesis 12:14-13:4) might be different.

But here’s my thoughts;

Judaism has a reputation of being very patriarchal. Men seem to have a lot of power but women not as much. Looking at Reform Judaism and Conservative Judaism, I certainly see the changes happening and women having more power; but at the end of the day, Judaism has its roots in the patriarchy.

However, my take, is in this passage we see the incredible power of a woman.

Whether Abram did the “right” or “wrong” thing, I’m not sure. He seemed to be rewarded for what happened (which creates cognitive dissonance for me) – where as I feel he should have trusted Hashem and moved forward and not lied about his relationship to Sarai. Yet that’s not what happened.

But it is clear that Pharaoh did the wrong thing, even though he didn’t know he was doing the wrong thing. He was punished (a disease befell his house). Maybe that’s a wrong way to look at it…but it certainly wasn’t good.

Sarai is painted here as powerful. She is the focus.

What are your thoughts? What do you get out of this story? This passage?