Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 2 Iyar, 5784 –Day 17 of Omer
Parsha Kedoshim – “Holy” (Leviticus 19:1 – 20:27)
Sixth Portion: Leviticus 20:8 – 20:22

Good morning! It is the 17^th Day of the Omer – and today, we explore the “compassion of compassion.”  From Chabad:

Examine the compassion of compassion. The expression of compassion and its intensity. True compassion is limitless. It is not an extension of your needs and defined by your limited perspective. Compassion for another is achieved by having a selfless attitude, rising above yourself and placing yourself in the other person’s situation and experience. Am I prepared and able to do that? If not, why? Do I express and actualize the compassion and empathy in my heart? What blocks me from expressing it? Am I locked in any way? Is my compassion compassionate or self-serving? Is it compassion that comes out of guilt rather than genuine empathy? How does that affect and distort my compassion? Test yourself by seeing if you express compassion even when you don’t feel guilty. Does my compassion come from a sense of duty or is it frivolous? On the other hand: Is my compassion alive; does it resound with vitality, or is it expressed only out of obligation? Is my compassion only a result of being a creature of habit who feels badly when another suffers, or do I actually apply myself to examine and refine my compassion, observing it’s limitations and forms of expression? How do I express compassion? Is my compassion beautiful? Is it well rounded? Does it contain the other six elements of tiferet, without which my full compassion remains unrealized.

Exercise for the day: Express your compassion in a new way that goes beyond your previous limitations: express it towards someone to whom you have been callous.

There is a lot to unpack here, I think. What is the source of our compassion? Is it selfless or obligatory? Does it come from a place of empathy? Or pity? Is it because I feel guilt? Or do I have a sense of fullness that my compassion overflows from? These are crucial questions – and once again, it begins from within.

Let’s dig in to today’s Torah Portion:

8And you shall observe My statutes and fulfill them. I am the Lord, Who sanctifies you.

9For any man who curses his father or his mother shall be put to death; he has cursed his father or his mother; his blood is upon himself.

Wow. Right out of the gate? Cursing our mom or dad? Punishable by death?

What about abusive parents?

I wonder if Torah considered that? Also – the Children of Israel did not live in isolation. They were living in camps.  It would have been quiet.  Anyone who has been camping would know this. It would be hard to mask abuse I would think.

In today’s modern society, we are much more private. How do we reconcile not cursing our parents In the case they were abusive?

I wonder. Does abuse start with cursing our parents? If those who cursed their parents were put to death a long time ago, would we have abuse?

These are questions I am contemplating.

10And a man who commits adultery with [another] man’s wife, committing adultery with the wife of his fellow the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

The bonds of marriage are strong for sure. If there is a marriage covenant, that is not intended to be broken.

11And a man who lies with his father’s wife has uncovered his father’s nakedness: both of them shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon themselves.

It’s even worse if it’s your mother-in-law.

12And a man who lies with his daughter in law both of them shall surely be put to death; they have committed a depravity; their blood is upon themselves.

And daughter-in law.

13And a man who lies with a male as one would with a woman both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon themselves.

It is interesting that the Torah addresses men laying with men, and not women laying with women.  Remember – the context here was the Children of Israel being “set apart” and not taking on the customs of the culture around them.

14And a man who takes a woman and her mother it is evil counsel. They shall burn him and them in fire, and there shall be no evil counsel in your midst.

Dang. That is harsh. And in context here, why don’t we focus on a dude who take a woman and her mom? That seems worse to the Torah than a man with a man, right? Being burned in fire? Um. That sounds AWFUL.

15And a man who lies with an animal, shall surely be put to death, and you shall kill the animal.

16And a woman who comes close to any animal so that it will mate with her you shall kill the woman and the animal; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon themselves.

Again, this seems to be connected to not taking on the practices around them.

17And a man who takes his sister, whether his father’s daughter or his mother’s daughter, and he sees her nakedness, and she sees his nakedness it is a disgraceful act, and they shall be cut off before the eyes of the members of their people; he uncovered his sister’s nakedness; he shall bear his sin.

So – a man who sleeps with his sister? It’s a problem – but not death.  That is interesting.

18And a man who lies with a woman who has a flow, and he uncovers her nakedness he has bared her fountain, and she has uncovered the fountain of her blood. Both of them shall be cut off from the midst of their people.

And a dude sleeping with a woman on her period? We don’t treat this in the same way we treat a dude sleeping with his sister, do we? It would seem society picks and chooses.

19And you shall not uncover the nakedness of your mother’s sister or your father’s sister, for he would be baring his close relative; they shall bear their sin.

20And a man who lies with his aunt he has uncovered his uncle’s nakedness; they shall bear their transgression; they shall die childless.

Die childless? Wow. For sleeping with your aunt? Interesting.

21And a man who takes his brother’s wife it is a repulsive act; he has uncovered his brother’s nakedness; they shall be childless.

Again – childless for sleeping with your sister in-law.

22And you shall observe all My statutes and all My ordinances, and fulfill them, then the Land, to which I am bringing you to dwell therein, will not vomit you out.

So this is the key line, isn’t it? The children of Israel inhabited the land. These were ALL statutes for living in the promised land. It is obvious the children did not do this, right? And the land did vomit them out.

So – we can say we are currently NOT living in the promised land, right? So these statues may not be as applicable outside the promised land.  Again, I am not saying to go wild – what I am saying is these passages have been used to oppress, shame, and hurt a lot of people. We are NOT living in the promised land. People are free.

What are your thoughts?

Here are my thoughts from two years ago:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 5 Iyar, 5782

Today is the 20th day of the Omer; which is 2 weeks and 6 days!

Todays passage is going to be a little rough I think. We are going to get into more sex stuff with the Torah. We have to remember the goal; it was so the Jews did not take on the practices of either the Egyptians whom they were enslaved by, and the Canaanites who they’d be living with in the promised land.

Todays portion begins by saying “you should observe My suprarational commands and fulfill them, I am God who sanctifies you.”

So these commands may not make logical sense to us. That’s important. And; culturally, they may doubly not make sense since our culture today is not what was in the Torah. But let’s jump in:

1. If you curse your mother or father – you should be put to death. Even if it’s after their death.

This is a tough one. Especially for those who grew up in a house that was abusive. In the Torah; the children would have been living more communally – so I’m wondering if the idea of abuse wouldn’t even have been a thing. With people living in tents, you’d hear everything and if parents started treating their children poorly, it would have been corrected.

2. If a grown man commits adultery with another man’s wife, if the woman was the wife of a Jew, both should be put to death by strangulation.

Um. Yeah. This is again a tough one to swallow. The use of the word “grown” is interesting though. But here is what Rabbi Mordecai ha-Kohen writes:

“God orchestrates peoples lives in a way that everyone should meet the person whom they are destined to marry. When a man commits adultery, he not only betrays the woman’s husband, he also denies God, who “arranged” this marriage.”

Interesting.

3. if a man lies with his fathers wife, it’s considering uncovering his fathers nakedness. Both of them should be put to death.
4. If a man lies with his daughter-in-law, both of them should be put to death. They have committed a shameful act.
5. If a man lies with a man as one would with a woman, both of them have committed an abominable act. They should both be put to death.

Let’s stop here. Because I feel like that last mitzvah is a really hurtful thing for many; especially those who I care and love deeply.

My first observation about these passages so far is how much our cultural focused on #5 and ignores #1 or #2. Culturally, #3 and #4 are pretty universal In our distaste for them.

But it is curious to me why we treat the act of sex between two men so much differently than the act of cursing your mother or father, or adultery. I’m not sure there is a good explanation TBH.

The other observation is that all of these mitzvahs are in the context of entering the promised land.

I have bad news. America isn’t the promised land. So these mitzvahs were really supposed to take place when we go to the promised land.

It’s important to understand the impact these words of the Torah have on our friends, family and neighbors. And how we are very quick to point some things out; and not others.

Kids curse their parents. I know as a kid I cursed my parents. To their face. I deserve to be put to death according to the Torah. Except I wasn’t in the promised land. I was still in Egypt. I still am in Egypt in certain ways. Who am I to condemn another?

I’m curious to other people’s thoughts on this. It’s a hard read.

But let’s continue:

6. If a man takes a woman who is his mother-in law and her mother in marriage, it is the advice of the evil inclination, they should burn him and them in fire. But not his initial wife.
7. A man who lies with an animal should be put to death and the animal should be killed.
8. A woman who comes close to an animal so that it will mate with her, you should kill the woman and the animal.
9. If a man takes his sister in marriage, either his fathers daughter or his mothers daughter and he sees her nakedness, and she sees his, it is a disgraceful act. They should be cut off from the sight of the members of their people.

It is interesting that we are moving away from killing and moving towards cutting off.

10. If a man lies with a woman who is menstruating and uncovers her nakedness, he has exposed her source; the source of her blood. Both of them will be cut off from among their people.

So let’s be clear here. The Torah is saying; sleeping with a woman on her period is in the same category as sleeping with your sister. Not sure fundamentalists see those two things the same.

11. Do not uncover the nakedness of your mother’s sister or your father’s sister for he has exposed his close relative. The will bear the consequence of their sin.
12. If a man lies with his aunt, he is considered to have unconcerned his uncle’s nakedness. They will bear the consequences of their transgression – they will die childless.
13. If a man takes his brother’s wife, it is a repulsive act. He is considered to have unconverted his brother’s nakedness. They will be childless.

And to reaffirm the context of all of these passages, todays portion reminds us:

“you should guard all My suprarational commands and all My rational commands and observe them.”

Let me stop and ask a question here: “Why, God? Why should we do this?”

God answers to close out the portion:

“Then the land, where I am bringing you to live, will not vomit you out.”

Given what we know about history, the Jews did not do this, because we were vomited out of the promised land. We aren’t living in the promised land any more. I guess if we were living in Israel, things would be different. But the truth is, we don’t live there.

So this was a tough portion today. I’m curious to what you think?