Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 4 Iyar, 5783. 19th Day of the Omer.

So. Today’s portion is going to be tough. It’s controversial.  If you have the time, I really encourage you to read my thoughts a year ago before jumping into it.  Looking back, I think I did a fair job of addressing the controversy.  TL:DR? If you think having sex with a woman on her period is a lot less of a sin than having sex with your daughter? The Torah may disagree with you.  Yup.  That’s what today’s double portion covers.  But before we jump into that – let’s dig into the Omer theme of the day!

Today’s theme is Chod of Tiferet – which means “Humility of Compassion.”

From Chabad:

Compassion must include humility for it not to be condescending and pretentious. Hod is recognizing that my ability to be compassionate and giving does not make me better than the recipient; it is the acknowledgement and appreciation that by creating one who needs compassion G‑d gave me the gift of being able to bestow compassion. Thus there is no place for haughtiness in compassion. Do I feel superior because I am compassionate? Do I look down at those that need my compassion? Am I humble and thankful to G‑d for giving me the ability to have compassion for others?

Exercise for the day: Express compassion in an anonymous fashion, not taking any personal credit.

How much do we want credit for our compassion?  That is something I am chewing on.  We want to know.  We want the score changed in our favor.

And yet, we are called to love.  To not ask for a parade when we do something kind.  To not ask for recognition when we love others.

And. Let me say this. Those of us who receive love and compassion? We are called to recognize it and be grateful.  We should NOT be using this as an excuse to withhold OUR love and compassion for others.  Especially when it speaks to us.

And. I am now curious. If I am acting in ways I think are loving and compassionate, but I am getting ZERO recognition for it?  Is it because I am craving it and it’s being withheld? Or is it because the behaviors and actions I am taking are ONLY loving and compassionate in my mind – and aren’t landing they way I want?

We’ve been discussing this idea of sacrifice.  Offering sacrifices that SPEAK to Hashem.  He doesn’t want us to sacrifice for our own sake.  WHAT we sacrifice matters.

If I am in a relationship, and my love and compassion continue to fall on nothing – maybe the issue is my sacrifices are only meaningful to me – and I am not listening to the other and what they truly need or want?  I have a choice to make. Do I listen more? Do I get curious? Or do I judge?  Do I determine there is something “wrong” with them because they do not respond to my acts of kindness and love?  Or do I reflect in on myself?

It is possible, we are sending out love into fields that cannot receive that love.  It is ALSO possible, we are loving in a way that is more about US than it is them.  And this may come down to speaking a language internally where our love lands in our own hearts.

Just something I am reflecting on.  And. This is what part of today’s portion is about.  From my commentary a year ago:

“Todays portion concludes what happens to those who offer sacrifices but doesn’t bring them to the Tent of Meeting:

– that person will be cut off from his people – sometimes this gets interpreted as he will die prematurely and his children will die.

So basically; if we are going to sacrifice for Hashem – or for our friends, it sounds to me the Torah is clear; we should be doing it FOR THEM which means in a way THAT MATTERS to them. Again, if I make a sacrifice for a friend; but it doesn’t land with them; that’s on me. I should listen and understand their needs; and provide them with that- not what I believe.”

What are your thoughts?

This was my commentary from a year ago:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 13 Nisan, 5782

Todays portion concludes what happens to those who offer sacrifices but doesn’t bring them to the Tent of Meeting:

– that person will be cut off from his people – sometimes this gets interpreted as he will die prematurely and his children will die.

So basically; if we are going to sacrifice for Hashem – or for our friends, it sounds to me the Torah is clear; we should be doing it FOR THEM which means in a way THAT MATTERS to them. Again, if I make a sacrifice for a friend; but it doesn’t land with them; that’s on me. I should listen and understand their needs; and provide them with that- not what I believe. If this makes any sense?

Next, we move in to blood; eating it and covering it.

The Torah says this; if any man from Israel or from the converts who live among them eats any blood, God is going to devote His time with the soul who eats the blood and he will be cut off from among his people.

Why? Why does God take this so seriously? What’s a little blood? Fortunately, the Torah answers us:

Because the soul of every creatures body depends on its blood. This is why Hashem assigned blood to us to be placed on the altar to atone for our souls. It is the blood of an animal that atones for the soul of man.

Let’s stop here. Because I feel like this is a controversial statement – especially for those readers who identify as Christian. The Torah is very clear here; Leviticus 17:11. The blood of an animal atones for the soul of man. It’s not the blood of man that atones for the soul of man. Because we must ask ourselves a fundamental question with real implications – are we souls who live inside a body as a vessel? Or are we bodies with a soul inside of them? Which one are we? That question matters. Our true identity as a soul or a body is important.

And before you say “we are both” only one of those options exists when our bodies die. If we see a body with a soul in it, when we die, we are no more. If we are souls living inside a body? When we die, we continue life beyond this world. Our soul (the essence of who we truly are) lives on. This concept is crucial. And it is why the blood is so important! Our souls DEPEND on blood to survive on the earth. Without blood, our souls wouldn’t be here.

So if shedding of blood impacts our soul, it makes sense that the purpose of animals is to provide that blood for us. But not to nourish our souls – but to atone for our broken connection with Hashem.

Not only this, the Torah tells us that if we see a trapped animal – even if it is kosher that may be eaten – and that animal sheds it’s blood, we need to cover the blood with dirt (the earth).

Some interesting things written about these passages.

Maimonides writes about eating blood:

“This is to deter Jewish people from occult practices which involve blood, such as the Chaldean practice of attempting to summon demons by using pools of blood, or drinking blood in an attempt to enhance the power of prophecy. The Torah prohibits the consumption of blood, to guide the Jewish people away from such foolishness.”

A while later, Nachmanides adds to his writing:

“Since “the soul of (every creature’s) body (depends on its) blood” (v. 11), if a person eats the blood of an animal he will be influenced by the animal’s soul which will bestow animalistic characteristics upon him.”

This is interesting considering the Jewish concept of having two souls; the Neshama and the Animal soul. There is a practical reason for this.

This transitions us to learning the Torah about eating kosher animals that die on their own without being ritually slaughtered.

The Torah is quick to point out; merely touching blood doesn’t make us ritually impure. But if we eat the animal that died on its own, we are to immerse ourselves and then go into the mikveh – remaining unclean until evening.

Finally we move into a tough controversial part of the Torah. The Torah is going to talk about “forbidden” relations. I use the word forbidden in quotes because I am not sure the Torah uses those words per se. But we will look together at this. I am open to hard conversations here.

Todays portion ends with an explanation as to “why” we are being given these mitzvahs.

God speaks to Moses telling him to speak to the Children of Israel and say to them; “I am God, your God.”

Let’s stop there. This is a statement made; but it’s also a question. What is “God?” God is what we worship. “god” for anyone could be anything. I can worship a head of lettuce; or the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or that Actor/Actress I like.

This passage starts with a grounding. Do we accept the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; the God of the Torah, the God who we are about to remember brought us out of the land of Egypt when we were slaves. Do we believe THAT God is God? If the answer Is “no” or “I’m not sure” I believe that’s quite ok – we are all on our own personal spiritual journeys – and my role here is not to judge. I am merely providing my thoughts on the Torah and what it says.

But this is important context. If we don’t believe God is God, then what comes next really doesn’t matter…..

Unless….

It is used by religious people to oppress others.

Let me say that again; what comes next – these passages, shouldn’t really impact those who don’t see God as God…except for the fact that in the name of the Torah (Bible) these passages have been used to enslave others with oppression. That is NOT what our spiritual journey should be about (in my opinion).

I want to recognize the incredible oppression placed on others because of the passages we are about to read together. That context cannot be ignored.

Here is what God wants us to know (once we accept that God is God).

1. Do not follow the practices of the land of Egypt where you lived.

There is a recognition on God’s part that living in slavery for 400 years might impact the cultural practices of those who were enslaved. (Are we listening white folx to the experience of Black Americans who don’t want to participate in White Culture?) God desire is that we remain true to our identities. Don’t take on the practices of those who enslaved us.

2. Do not follow the practices of the land of Canaan where God is bringing you. Do not follow their customs.

There is ALSO a recognition that moving away from slavery into a new culture is going to bring with it a desire to immerse ourselves in a culture of freedom. This is also not what God wants for us.

3. You should fulfill God’s rational mitzvahs.

This means we should keep the mitzvahs we understand and do them.

4. Guard God’s suprarational mitzvahs – the ones we don’t understand but we do them because we worship and trust Hashem. We are to follow the mitzvahs wisdom and not secular wisdom.

So that’s the context. What follows is about our relationship with Hashem. Nothing more it would seem. He wants us to live in connection with Him; not the cultures around us. As Jews, we are to be “counter culture.” That is what we were chosen to do.

Prepare yourselves. Tomorrow’s portion is going to be tough. It is interesting that we are going to read it the day before Passover begins. Something I’m reflecting on.

Whew. That was a lot. What are your thoughts?

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 14 Nisan, 5782

So. Todays Torah thoughts starts with an apology.

This weeks Parsha is actually NOT aharei mot. That is NEXT weeks Parsha. The reason for this is Passover begins at sundown tonight, and because of this, this past week, the Parsha was supposed to center around the passages in the Torah related to Passover.

In thinking about this, I’m going to spend today and tomorrow finishing this Parsha; and Sunday, I’ll dig into the Parsha around Passover; then we will be back on track.

Again, I’m sorry. It’s a good reminder for all of us; I’m not a Torah expert. I’m just a guy reading the Torah, thinking about Torah, and then reading others’ writings about the Torah.

Ok. With that out of the way; it’s time for us to have a tough conversation. Keeping in mind all of what we talked about yesterday – the reason for these passages that God has given us. We have been talking about ritual impurity. Yesterday we discussed the difference between Hashem’s rational mitzvahs (ones that are logical to us) and suprarational mitzvahs (ones we don’t understand).

Hashem explained why we should do this;

1. He was concerned we’d bring the customs from Egypt where we were slaves into our new lives.
2. He was concerned that with our freedom and liberation, we’d take on the practices of the people living in the promised land.

He wants us to be a unique and separate people. He doesn’t want us to assimilate; either from where we’ve been to where we are going. I think this is important context for getting into the passages about “forbidden” relations. Again, the word forbidden is in quotes because nothing we’ve read so far uses that term. So let’s dig in.

1. No man or woman may come near (read; have sex with) any of their close relatives, to uncover their nakedness and cohabit with them.

As a reminder, this verse closes with “I am God who is faithful to pay reward.” Which is an interesting close.

2. You must not uncover the nakedness of your father’s wife, or the nakedness of your mother (if she is not your fathers wife). Since she is your mother you must not uncover her nakedness.
3. You must not uncover the nakedness of your father’s wife, even after he dies.
4. You must not uncover your sisters nakedness, whether she is your father’s daughter or your mother’s daughter.
5. You must not uncover the nakedness of the daughter of your son or daughter, for they are like your own nakedness.
6. You must not uncover the nakedness of your father’s Jewish wife’s daughter, born to your father because she is your sister
7. You must not uncover the nakedness of your father’s sister because she is the close relative of your father
8. You must not uncover the nakedness of your mother’s sister because she is a close relative of your mother.
9. You must not uncover the nakedness of your father’s brother, namely you must not come near his wife because she is your aunt.
10. You must not uncover the nakedness of your daughter in law. She is your son’s wife.
11. You must not uncover the nakedness of your brother’s wife for she is your brother’s nakedness.

Ok. So far, I’m not sure any of the above are too radical. My takeaway so far is the establishment of the importance of family and how being connected by blood is something sacred – and not to be connected with sexual intimacy.

I’m also chewing on how given the context, these must have been things happening in Egypt (at the time) or in the promised land (or both).

12. You must not uncover the nakedness of a woman to whom you are married and her daughter. You must not take your son’s daughter or her daughter’s daughter in marriage to uncover her nakedness. It is the advice of the evil inclination since they are close relatives.

So again, probably not controversial; but this is interesting, because Hashem gives us a reason- it seems like maybe people thought they could get around the above prohibitions by marrying some of the people above, and therefore be able to uncover their nakedness. Hashem is saying that thought (a workaround to His mitzvahs) is from the evil inclination.

13. You must not take a woman in marriage in addition to her sister, to make them rivals by uncovering one’s nakedness in addition to the other’s. Even if you divorce one sister, you may not marry the other one in her lifetime.

Whoa. Hold up. Stop right here. We have a controversy (in my opinion).

Hashem basically calls out one of our forefathers here. Jacob married Rachel and Leah. This seems to violate this mitzvah.

My takeaway; humanity is all about growth and development. Who we are in each moment is built off of who we were in each previous moment; however, we aren’t bound by our past. Jacob (at the time) seemingly did nothing wrong; and that would be true. AND AT THE SAME TIME looking back, Hashem is saying – it wasn’t the best.

So when we read these mitzvahs I think it’s s good thing to keep in mind that our forefathers broke these mitzvahs before they were written. The question is what do we do with them now that we are aware? Keeping in mind the purpose of the mitzvahs is to get closer to God and these specific mitzvahs were to prevent assimilation to the ways we lived while in slavery, and the ways we will live in freedom.

14. You must not come near a woman during the ritual impurity of her menstruation, to uncover her nakedness.

Another takeaway. We’ve already read about this happening earlier in the Torah. And the consequences around it. It wasn’t punishable by death. It was about ritual impurity. We need to keep this in mind. I’m not saying we should engage with women during their menstruation- I’m just saying there are reasons for this.

Also; Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch writes this; “Through Issuing Devine commands relating to marital life, God raises human intimacy from an animalistic, sensual experience to the sphere of holiness and purity.” I think that is something interesting to chew on.

15. You must not lie carnally with your fellowman’s wife, to make yourself impure with her.

Something I reflect on here. Adultery is mentioned in the 10 commandments and here as well. Yet, many religious people I know tend to gloss over this; especially as we close the parsha tomorrow and talk about some even more difficult things. Why? If all of these behaviors are mentioned as problematic; why are only certain things focused on?

Just something to keep in the back of your mind.

16. You must not give any of your offspring to pagan priests to pass through between two bonfires, in worship of the pagan deity Molech. You must not profane the name of your God. I am God.

Um. This seems way out in left field. Everything so far was about sex. This is about sacrificing children.

It’s an interesting way to close the portion today.

Something my brain is navigating as I read these. I want to put these “in order” of severity; like the things at the beginning (sex with your own children or parents) seems pretty bad compared to adultery and sacrificing children. But then I’m the middle of all of that are some things that seem more mild – sex during menstruation? Marrying your sister in law after divorcing your wife?

I think we need to be cautious in assigning value to the order in which these appear. My guess is; all of these are seen the same by Hashem. We will likely find out when we consider the consequences tomorrow. If the consequences for all of these are the same; ie having sex with your wife during menstruation is the same as committing adultery, that’s important to consider from a Torah perspective.

How much are our views around sex really grounded in scripture (I ask that for my Christian friends), and how much are our views grounded in the society around us? It seems like all of us; Jew and Gentile alike, tend to pick and choose the severity of these mitzvahs being violated based on our own personal choices. We are projecting ourselves onto the Torah. And I’d argue that’s a concern.

What are your thoughts? Does anything jump out at you?