5 Iyar, 5783. 20th Day of the Omer

on April 26, 2023

Tyler’s Torah thoughts for 5 Iyar, 5783

First let’s look at the Omer theme:

Today is “Yesod of Tiferet” the “Bonding of Compassion.”

From Chabad:

For compassion to be fully realized, it needs bonding. It requires creating a channel between giver and receiver. A mutuality that extends beyond the moment of need. A bond that continues to live on. That is the most gratifying result of true compassion. Do you bond with the one you have compassion for, or do you remain apart? Does your interaction achieve anything beyond a single act of sympathy?

Exercise for the day: Ensure that something eternal is built as a result of your compassion.

That last question is pivotal. Does our interactions with one another around compassion result in a single act of sympathy? Or does it create bonding beyond? That is something to really reflect on.

Let’s dig into the torah portion:

Today’s portion straddles two Parshas. We close out Aharei Mot – with some REALLY controversial passages. We then begin a new parsha, Kedoshim. From a year ago, I wrote the following:

Kedoshim means “Holy.” In the Chumash I’m reading it has this as an entry way; “Bring holiness into your world; into your everyday life. Make it the focal point of your consciousness. Holiness is the opposite of your ego, and it’s antidote.”

What we are talking about is the opposite of our ego. Many people call that different things. But I feel like all of us are clear on what “opposite of ego” means.

We are talking about getting out of our own way here. We close out the difficult commands given to us in Parsha Aharei Mot – and learn about Yom Kippur and the importance of atonement. Then we jump into holiness. The opposite of ego.

From a simplistic view, we are talking about forgiving ourselves. Living out from under judgment. And living free of our own ego. And this is how we move towards true spiritual liberation!

We tend to get this backwards. We “use” religion and spirituality to judge others because (in my opinion) we have already judged and condemned ourselves. Our ego has “won the day.” Getting out of our ego’s way? That is the path to enlightenment. Many faith communities embrace this. The Dalai Lama talks about altruism, and the need to love others in a way that gets out from our own egos.

Today’s portion seems to focus on the need to forgive ourselves in this process. As we hold on to guilt and shame? That will hold us back from love.

What are your thoughts?

Here is the commentary I wrote a year ago:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 15 Nisan, 5782

Chag Sameach! Shabbat Shalom!

Today we celebrate the first day of Passover; as the Israelites were led out of the slavery of Egypt and Into the Wilderness, eventually their children making it to the promised land!

We are a week ahead in our Parsha; but we close out Aharei Mot with some really tough passages.

To review – the foundation of these passages are centered around not practicing the customs of when we were slaves in Egypt; and not following the practices of the people living in the promised land. The goal here is connection with Hashem. It’s relational.

We started looking at No sex with close family members. We went through yesterday what that meant. We looked above (parents) besides (sisters, brothers, etc) and below (children).

Culturally, a lot of these passages are in line with current moral standards of our society, especially in America. And we have to remember this is a key point. We don’t necessarily have a problem with these parts of the portion because they line up with our current beliefs.

Now. We shift a bit; and Hashem seems to say moving forward at this point of the journey, the Israelites should not do what Jacob did. Verse 18:18 says don’t marry a woman and her sister. The reason for this – it would make them rivals. Even if you divorce one, you can’t marry the other in her lifetime.

Then, we talk about sex with a woman while menstruating. You can begin to see a shift in cultural practices today which are less in line with the Torah. It’s a little uncomfortable (in my opinion).

Then we talk about adultery – no sex with someone else’s wife.

Then we close with giving your kids to worship Molech.

Now we jump into todays portion:

“You must not lie down with a man, as one lies with a woman.”

Now. Let’s stop for a minute. We need to recognize culturally and historically in America specifically (and I’m sure other countries around the world I have zero personal experience living in) this passage has led to so much oppression, pain, and hurt.

I go back to high school and reading the book “The Scarlett Letter.” And thinking how odd it was to live in a time where Adultery was so bad people were shunned for it. And yet, today, it’s not great, but it happens with such frequency there are entire shows (I remember watching the show “Cheaters”) devoted to it. We have pastors in churches who have committed adultery who are leading services.

NeverMind

How many people have sex with women on their period. We don’t talk about that passage a lot, do we?

And here – in this same section, we talk about a behavior; sex with someone with the same biological parts. And somehow THAT has become the thing we’ve held onto as a society being problematic.

And that is important context because human beings, created by Hashem, have lost jobs, been physically assaulted, and treated like crap in our society all because of this passage.

But if adultery, sex with a woman on her period and gay sex is all mentioned together; we must ask ourselves some hard questions. Why do we as a society treat these differently?

This isn’t the time to answer those questions by the way. It’s the time to talk about freedom and liberation from slavery. And to do that, we need to address the next line of the Torah.

“This is an abomination.”

And how we handle that line is going to impact how we handle the Torah portion we’ve been reading. Because there are a few options in front of us.

Option 1: all the previous mitzvahs listed are just “don’t do it” but a man laying down with a man? THAT is the abomination.

Option 2: all the previous mitzvahs AND a man laying down with a man are abominations.

Historically we’ve gone with option 1. Which is kind of interesting to a degree if you think about it. Don’t have sex with your dad or your aunt or your mom or your kids; but a man having sex with a man; THAT is an abomination? Interesting choice.

Especially because here’s a secret about the Torah that really isn’t a secret that you may not know; the Torah? No punctuation. And I’d argue in this context punctuation matters. Because If a man having sex with a man is on the same page as a man having sex with a woman on her period, or a man having sex with the sister of someone he’s already had sex with? Then life looks a smidge different today.

I’m hoping this makes sense.

In addition, if you look at the bookends of the section of the Torah – and we read what is about to come, the “this is an abomination” certainly feels like (in my opinion) to be the closure of a section of mitzvahs from Hashem.

Remember back to the beginning of the section. God tells us; “You should guard My suprarational commands (one’s that aren’t necessarily logical) and My rational laws which a man should do, and you will live by them in the next world, for I am God who is faithful to pay it forward.”

So the section starts out that these laws are about “the next world.” Which we’ve discussed from a Jewish contexts is about our souls. The basic question ; are we physical bodies with a soul inside, or are we infinite souls living inside a body for a time?

So; the idea of this section is that these mitzvahs are for our souls; and they are for “the next world.” So when we get to “This is an abomination.” What we are seeing is these things – adultery, sex with a woman on her Period, sex with a man if you are a man” are all going to impact our souls.

Now let’s stop here. If you don’t believe you have a soul, then these passages become meaningless to a degree. And I’m not going to impose my beliefs about the soul onto anyone else.

The Torah doesn’t say “judge” to us. There were actual judges that would judge. But we aren’t all called to judge. We are called to love. To heal the world. That’s not going to happen by chastising people that “miss the mark” on the Torah. Because that’s not how Torah works.

So let’s move forward. I think the next line is going to clarify even more.

Because now we are talking about sex with animals. And after THIS passage? The Torah calls it depravity. It is clear sex with animals is depravity- because the abomination line came first.

And in a Torah that we have read where there are ENTIRE sections where after every behavior is listed “you are ritually Impure” In this part of the Torah there is a long list of things – without any kind of “calling them something.” This leads me to believe the entire section is what Hashem is calling an abomination.

And you are about to see this even more reinforced. Because we have yet to learn what the consequence is for these “abominations” and depravity.”

Here’s the closing of the parsha:

“You you must not defile yourselves by any of these things, for the nations whom I am sending away from you have defiled themselves with all these things. The land became defiled. I remembered its sin (bringing punishment) upon it, the land vomited out its inhabitants.”

But you will observe My suprarational commands and My rational commands, and you will not do any of these abominations-neither the native, nor the convert who lives among you.

The people of the land, who preceded you, did all of these abominations and the land became defiled. Let the land not vomit you out for having defiled it as it vomited out the nation that preceded you.

For if anyone commits any of these abominations, (both) the people (the man and the woman) who committed (the act) will be cut off from the midst of their people.

(The courts should) enforce My restrictions, not to commit any of the abominable practices that were done before you, and you will not become defiled by them.

(If you keep My laws then) I am God, your God.

So there you have it. Pretty clear the Torah lumps ALL of these things together as problematic. And the consequence wasn’t death. It was being cut off from the people.

Let’s be real here. Judaism as a faith is all about freedom. There is no forcing you to do what the Torah says. There are no “good Jews” and “bad Jews” only Jews.

And at the same time, if you want to walk away from that – there is freedom in that.

The judges of our time have judged poorly. We judge a man having sex with a man and are ready to cut them out of our communities – but a man having sex with a woman on her period? That’s none of our business. Neither is having sex with the sister of someone you’ve had sex with.

So instead of using these passages to judge OTHERS? How about we judge ourselves first?

The Talmud reinforces this idea and we will close with it:

“The Sages, aiming to highlight the pitfalls of arrogance, equated an arrogant man to one who has engaged in all forbidden relations. They learn this from our verse, which describes forbidden relations as an “abomination” and regarding arrogance it says, “Every haughty person is an abomination to God” (Proverbs 16:5). This common characterization, as an abomination, indicated to the Sages a relationship between the two sins.”

I’m so curious as to your thoughts on this. If you aren’t comfortable sharing publicly – please feel free to DM me. I’ll gladly discuss it with you.

Have a great Passover, and a great Shabbat.

Since it is Passover, there won’t be a Haftorah today. I will do the Haftorah for Aharei Mot next Shabbat.

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 30 Nisan, 5782

This is the last day of Nisan! I hope this has been a month of freedom for us! Before digging into the Torah thoughts for Parsha Kedoshim, I wanted to share (what I believe) is a perfect end to the month of Nisan!

I read many books; not just the Torah. Today’a entry for ”The Book of Awakening” by Mark Nepo says this:

There is very little difference between burying and planting. For often, we need to put dead things to rest, so that new life can grow. And further, the thing put to rest—whether it be a loved one, a dream, or a false way of seeing—becomes the fertilizer for the life about to form. As the well-used thing joins with the earth, the old love fertilizes the new; the broken dream fertilizes the dream yet conceived; the painful way of being that strapped us to the world fertilizes the freer inner stance about to unfold.”

“There is always grief for what is lost and always surprise at what is to be born. But much of our pain in living comes from wearing a dead and useless skin, refusing to put it to rest, or from burying such things with the intent of hiding them rather than relinquishing them.”

“For every new way of being, there is a failed attempt mulching beneath the tongue. For every sprig that breaks surface, there is an old stick stirring underground. For every moment of joy sprouting, there is a new moment of struggle taking root.”

“We live, embrace, and put to rest our dearest things, including how we see ourselves, so we can resurrect our lives anew.”

As we put to rest our past, or life In slavery; and our new journey to Freedom. We do not need to wear the dead skins of our past. We can let them go; buried in the soil of our soul and allow them to fertilize new growth in us!

Ok; let’s dig in!

The Hebrew word for holiness literally translates as “seperate.” Being holy means being one with Hashem and using our talents for Him. Even non-sacred activities should be performed for a Godly purpose.

The goal of holiness is to explore our ego; and to act in a manner that is opposite of our ego. Our ego is what gets in our way of holiness. As we dig in further; where is our ego this morning? How is our ego driving our lives?

Ok! Let’s dig in!

This first part of the portion is clarifying the basic laws of Torah.

God tells Moses to speak to the entire congregation of Israel, and tell them:

– You should be holy, because I, God, your God, am holy.

Ok. Stop here. Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson has this to say on the subject:

We should be holy through refraining from forbidden relations(Rashi)

“While Rashi understood that the Jewish people “become holy” by refraining from forbidden relations in particular, I see this as a command to be self restraining in general. Even when the Torah permits you to eat food that is kosher and to have intimate relations, it is still desirable

to exercise moderation” (Nahmanides)

There is a principle in Hasidic thought, “The higher something is, the lower it falls.” You reach the highest levels of spiritual greatness, not through intellectual endeavors alone, but by involving yourself in the physical world, observing the commandments and helping others to do likewise.

You best fulfil the command to “be holy” by refraining from the lowest and most debased of acts (forbidden relations). For the route towards the highest degrees of holiness, becoming holy like God (“You should be holy, because I, God your God, am holy”), is through refraining from the lowest of acts- “the higher something is, the lower it falls.”

This also explains why, at the afternoon prayer on the Day of Atonement, the holiest day of the year-before beginning the closing prayer (Ne’ilah), the climax of the day – the Torah reading discusses forbidden relations. For it is through restraint from the very lowest of acts that you reach the highest degrees of holiness.”

Interesting thoughts about this first line!

Next; Hashem tells us to fear our mother and father (more like awe). However, If they tell us not to observe the Sabbath or any other Torah law, we should not listen to them.

We should not turn to worthless idols and worship them.

When we reap our Harvest, leave some for the poor.

When should not steal.

We should not make a false denial or false oath against each other

We should not swear falsely

We should not oppress another

We should not rob.

Stop.

What is the difference between stealing and robbing?

Rabbi Schneerson takes a quote from Maimonides and expands on it:

What is the definition of a “thief”? One who secretly acquires the property of another person, without the owner knowing. For example, if a man puts his hand into another’s pocket and discreetly takes the owner’s money. however, if a man takes possession of another’s property openly in public, by force, then he is not a “thief” but a “robber.”

Any person who robs so much as a perutah (small coin) is considered to have taken that person’s life away, as the verse states, “So are the ways of every one who is greedy of gain; it takes away the life of its owners (Proverbs 1:19; Maimonides)”

The Torah compares robbery to ending life because the act of robbery deprives the victim of some of the inherent rights that life brings. This is the case regardless of how much money was taken (even “a perutah”).

When a person suffers a robbery, it is not merely that his assets have decreased as a result of an unlawful act (as is the case with theft); his rightful ownership has been openly challenged and taken away by force. The robber says, “I am denying you the fundamental human right of owning your own property,” which, in a certain respect, is depriving a person of the privilege of being alive. Hence, “it is as if he took his life away.” With theft, which occurs secretly, there is no outright challenge of ownership. It is only that, at some later date, a person will discover that he does not have as many possessions as he did previously. But there was never a moment where he was confronted by another person who forcefully uprooted his ownership and “took away his life” (end quote)

That’s a really interesting distinction!

The portion today closes with withholding wages with workers, cursing a deaf person, and the lacing a stumbling block in front of someone who is “blind.” The idea is the victim won’t know who caused the injury.

Some really interesting thoughts as we end Nisan, and journey to a new month! What are your thoughts?