Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 7 Iyar, 5783.

22nd Day of the Omer.

This is a new week in the counting of the Omer. The theme this week is Netztach.  There are various ways this word is translated into English.  Endurance. Ambition. Determination. Victory.

This is from Chabad:

Week Four – Netzach

Endurance and ambition is a combination of determination and tenacity. It is a balance of patience, persistence and guts. Endurance is also being reliable and accountable, which establishes security and commitment. Without endurance, any good endeavor or intention has no chance of success.

Endurance means to be alive, to be driven by what counts. It is the readiness to fight for what you believe, to go all the way. Without such commitment any undertaking remains flat and empty. It is an energy which comes from within and stops at nothing to achieve its goals. This, of course, requires that endurance be closely examined to ensure that it is used in a healthy and productive manner.

Ask yourself: How committed am I to my values? How much would I fight for them? Am I easily swayed? What price am I ready to pay for my beliefs? Is there any truth for which I would be ready to give my life?

Effective endurance needs to encompass the following seven ingredients: love, discipline, compassion, endurance, humility, bonding and dignity. The problems people have with endurance and commitment are due to a lack of one or more of these seven components.

Day One of Week 4: Chesed of Netzach

For anything to endure it needs to be loved. A neutral or indifferent attitude will reflect in a marginal commitment. If you have difficulty making commitments, examine how much you love and enjoy the object that requires your commitment. Do I love my work? My family? My choices?

For endurance to be effective it needs to be caring and loving. Endurance without love can be counterproductive. Raw endurance can come across as harsh and aggressive, which undermines the cooperation of others. Out of sheer determination one may often become controlling and demanding, driving others away. For endurance to be successful it needs a loving and caring attitude, it requires patience.

Does my endurance cause me to be, or seem to be, inflexible? Does my drive and determination cause me to be controlling? Am I too demanding? Do others (my employees, friends, children) cooperate with me out of the sheer force of my will and drive, or out of love? Is my endurance unloving? In order to get my way would I allow others to get hurt? Do I believe that the end justifies the means? Would I stop at nothing to achieve my goals? When my endurance prevails and I overcome the obstacles in my way, am I still loving? Even when defending myself and others against unhealthy influences, am I driven by love or hate (see week two, day one)?

Exercise for the day: When fighting for something you believe in, pause a moment to ensure that it is accomplished in a loving manner.

Some takeaways for me:

• Being Driven by what counts
• Readiness to fight for what you believe
• Struggling to endure is likely connected to one of these Omer principles:
  • love
  • discipline
  • compassion
  • endurance
  • humility
  • bonding
  • dignity.

This principle of endurance is big.  Following through; even when the evidence around you tries to convince you it’s a losing battle. And. There is a fine line between endurance and determination and stubbornness and control.

I often joke with people that the difference between stubbornness and determination is being right.  The problem is knowing whether we are right or not. The journey into the Omer this week (i believe) is going to help us determine this line.

Our first principle is love.  “For our endurance to be effective it needs to be loving and caring.”

So – how do you know whether you are determined or stubborn?  If you are connected to your heart – conscious of the feelings and emotions surrounding the endurance. Am I loving and caring in my determination.

And. That starts with – “Am I being loving and caring TOWARDS MYSELF first?”  Because if we are sacrificing ourselves because we don’t like who we are, and we believe this sacrifice will somehow redeem us?  Then we are likely being stubborn. We are acting in stubbornness from a place of woundedness.

But if we are being determined – knowing that the outcome is not our own – we are only sovereign (as we discussed yesterday) over ourselves – and our fight is more to do everything we can to communicate love from a place of wholeness? Then we might be in the realm of determination.

But here’s the trick (in my opinion).  What do we assume automatically?  The scientific method tells us we should test the null hypothesis.  So if I am struggling to figure out whether I am right (determined) or wrong (stubborn) – I should test the OPPOSITE of what I believe.  So I generally start with assuming I am being stubborn.  I test this out.

Am I fighting because of something in me that needs to be healed? Likely. If I am feeling grounded, ok. Maybe not.

Am I open to bringing in outside feedback to give me critical thought on whether I am being stubborn?  If I am stubborn, I am likely not going to want anyone else’s opinion unless I know they are going to tell me what I want to hear.

These help me figure out whether I am stubborn or determined.

And. Am I being rigid? Am I too focused on one single outcome? Or am I open to others’ feedback getting me to what I want in the long run.

These are helpful as we focus on love in determination or endurance.  Then we can truly experience “Netzach.”

Ok. Let’s quickly dig into the Torah portion:

Today’s portion is a double one as we move to close the Parsha of Kedoshim.

It supports our discussion on the Omer as we think about engaging in this process of determining whether we are lovingly determined or being stubborn.  The idea of honesty.  We need. Need. REQUIRED. It’s necessary.  To be honest with ourselves in this process.

The portion today talks about using “honest weights and measures.”  We can EASILY assess ourselves and convince ourselves we are right.  This is crucial – if we are going to be spiritually liberated and move away from being trapped in a prison of religiosity, we need to be honest. When we explore the possibility we may be wrong, we need to dig deep into our soul to determine the reality of our situation.

But – we need to do this in love.  Because self-hatred. Self-loathing? That will not lead us to honest answers.  If we ASSUME we are wrong because we are garbage? That isn’t being honest either.

We need to sit with this concept of the “null hypothesis.”  A null hypothesis is something we FUNDAMENTALLY believe isn’t true.  It’s the OPPPOSITE of our hypothesis.  In statistical terms, it’s the hypothesis that there is no difference between two populations (with any observed difference being due to sampling or experimental error). Because if we can find evidence to the contrary that the null hypothesis is wrong? We know the original hypothesis is right.

So we can explore whether our null hypothesis is wrong.  But we can’t absorb the null hypothesis as being right.

And. we need to keep in mind – sampling error.

Because – just because OTHERS judge us as being stubborn? That could be due to sampling error. They may be PROJECTING their own stubbornness onto us.  This is why having accepted feedback mechanisms we trust – who will tell us critical feedback – our own “scientific peer journals” if you will, we are going to be safer in this process.

Ok. Enough scientific talk for the day.  What do you think?

This is my commentary from a year ago:

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 3 Iyar, 5782

Today is a very short passage; more on Honesty and Respect:

We start by discussing converts.

I get this question a lot in my DMs; for a non-Jew, Is converting to Judaism possible? Given that it is a bloodline (and based off Matrilineal lineage) how do you “convert?”

Today, there are a lot of options; and it really (like all things Jewish) the answer is “it depends.” To convert within Reform Judaism is a much different process than converting to Orthodox Judaism. But, one thing is clear; conversion is an option.

The Torah teaches us today that we should NOT verbally harass converts by reminding them of their past. The converts who live with us (as Jews) should he considered to be native Jews. We are to love converts as we love ourselves! (Verse 19:33-34).

And WHY should we do this? Because the Torah tells us; “Because you too were once strangers in the land of Egypt. Just as I am your God, I am his God too.”

God is God. He doesn’t belong just to us – He aligns himself with all. This is a very comforting message!

Next, we talk about perversion of Justice with false measures, weights, or liquid measures. Our scales should be accurate.

There’s a lot written about this verse:

Maimonides writes:

“If you deny the precept of accurate measures, it is as if you denied the exodus from Egypt, which was the beginning of the Torah’s commandments.”

Rabbi Vidal Yom Tov writes:

“By sinning surreptitiously, a person who possesses inaccurate measures disregards God’s supervision of all the details of this world. He is thus denying the exodus from Egypt, and its associated miracles, which proved God’s providential care and direct involvement.

And finally, Rabbi Schneerson sums this up beautifully;

“The Egyptian persecution of the Jewish people was done under a pretense. They appeared to be following God’s will, for God had decreed, “They will enslave them and oppress them’

(Genesis 15:13). In truth, however, the Egyptians were carrying out an act of wickedness, for they chose to harm the Jewish people. They were not carrying out God’s will at all, for if the Egyptians had chosen not to harm the Jewish people, God would have found another way to carry out His decree.

This subterfuge, of appearing to be righteous while at the same time carrying out an act of wickedness, resembles the sin of having false weights and measures, as the use of false measures is an attempt to “dress up an act of theft as an act of honesty.

Therefore, “If you deny the precept of accurate measures, it is as if you denied the exodus from Egypt,” since the Exodus freed us from the dishonest subterfuge which was typified by the Egyptian people.”

That’s a really great point!

Todays portion once closes with once again reminding us that we are to observe Hashem’s suprarational commands and rational ones. Hashem knows some of the commands won’t make sense to us. But we are to connect with Him anyway!

Interesting reading today. What are your thoughts?

Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 4 Iyar, 5782

Good morning! Today is the 19th day of counting the Omer. In this third week of counting the Omer, compassion is the theme. One of the reflective pieces for me in compassion is not just compassion for others; but compassion for ourselves on our journeys.

I read this quote in my journal from a year ago:

“Each Day is a Journey. And the Journey itself is Home” – Basho

A friend once painted me a canvas with this quote on it; and it was really impactful then. It’s even more impactful now.

The journey I’m on is not just home; the journey I’m on is going home as I plan to go to my 30th High School reunion (Westtown) twice removed (thanks COVID) next weekend. It is an odd thing to reflect on my journey so far; and to see the expansion of my life all the way to Chico, CA, and now bringing me back to the East coast, and eventually home to Westtown.

SPOILER WARNING: Vulnerability coming your way…

Westtown is where I went after my father passed when I was 15. My mom and I weren’t getting along (to put it mildly) and so going to a boarding school for my Junior and Senior year of High School was a way to keep both of us safe.

I’ve long been embarrassed about who I was those two years. But some of the people who were important to me during that time have reminded me – all of us were going through some really rough things as kids. The conversations have been a big part of my healing journey.

I’m excited to return home next week. To see the house I grew up in. To go to the synagogue I attended as a child (the synagogue is celebrating their 100th anniversary this year). To visit the graves of my parents. To spend time with people who were pivotal during some really rough years for me.

This is the landscape this morning as I dig into this portion of the Torah:

Today we learn about the consequences for breaking the mitzvahs – either not doing the mitzvahs – or doing the opposite.

God speaks to Moses and tells him to tell us (the children of Israel):

If anyone (converts or native born) gives any children in worship of the pagan deity of Molech should be put to death by the court. If the courts don’t have the authority, the public should assist by pelting him to death with stones.

Stop. Wow. Why was the punishment so harsh?

This was interesting:

Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch writes:

“Molech was worshiped by handing over a child to the priests who would pass the child through a fire. The worship was based on a heathen belief that fate rules the world. It is not that they gave their children over to idol-worship, abandoning the service of God; they saw themselves as giving up their most precious possession–their children-to the “decree of fate.”

Not only did this slander God, it violated the holiness of children who are God’s assets. It was a denial that a child is meant to blossom under God’s providence.”

This is why the punishment was so harsh!

But Hashem was still merciful. To the people and the courts. It seems as if He is providing for the possibility the public won’t be able to deal with it. He tells us;

“I will devote My time away from all My affairs and deal with this man individually and I will cut him off from his people even if he gave his grandson to Molech.”

And then the Torah goes further:

“If the public ignores that man, when he gives even his illegitimate offspring to Molech, not putting him to death, then I will devote My time with this man and his family. But I will only cut him off, and all who follow after him to go astray after Molech, from among the people, but I will not cut off his family too.”

I’ll confess – this passage is hitting me differently as it seems Hashem is bringing me “back” to “my people.” There is comfort knowing that I am reconnecting with the people of my past, who I cut myself off from. This passage encourages me that I’m on the right track.

So – there you have it. A little personal today in my Torah thoughts. Would love to know your thoughts on the passage and how you connect with it!!!