Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 9 Iyar, 5783. 24th Day of the Omer.
Today’s Omer theme is “Tiferet of Netzach” which means “Compassion of Endurance”
From Chabad:
Healthy endurance, directed to develop good qualities and modifying bad ones, will always be compassionate. The compassion of endurance reflects a most beautiful quality of endurance: an enduring commitment to help another grow. Endurance without compassion is misguided and selfish. Endurance needs to be not just loving to those who deserve love, but also compassionate to the less fortunate.
- Does my determination compromise my compassion for others?
- Am I able to rise above my ego and empathize with my competitors?
- Am I gracious in victory?
Exercise for the day: Be patient and listen to someone that usually makes you impatient.
How often can our determination compromise our compassion for others? What is the primary value for us? Determination on it’s own? That’s rigid and stubborn. Compassion needs to be combined with our determination to be more loving.
And then I turn within. What within us are we determined and enduring – but we are not being kind and compassionate to? I am realizing how much I am determined to be compassionate and loving – without recognizing my own limits and flaws that prevent my having the capacity to do so. I burn myself out trying to be compassionate to everyone. I am determined to be compassionate.
But I lose sight of the compassion of my own determination.
As we dig into this week’s parsha, Emor – means “speak.”
I connect this to compassion and determination. How are we speaking to ourselves? Are we being kind and compassionate? Or are we solely being determined and stubborn? How do we do both at the same time?
And. What standard are we setting for ourselves? Are we holding ourselves to a higher standard than we need? As I read today’s portion, the biggest question I ask myself – “am I expecting myself to live as a priest?” And I come to the place of believing this is what i am WORKING TOWARDS and need to see my life moving in that direction – but I will never get there. And I need to be ok with that. And not see my “failing” moments as anything more than a moment. They don’t create a gap in my identity.
I need to be both determined to live more in line with the priesthood AND at the same time accept the reality I am a human being who isn’t a priest. That (i think?) is compassion of determination.
What are your thoughts?
From my commentary a year ago:
Tyler’s Torah Thoughts for 7 Iyar, 5782.
Today is the 22nd day of the Omer – 3 weeks and 1 day of the Omer. This week’s theme is “determination.” As we move from compassion into determination – may the week ahead bring confidence and joy as we set our intentions and follow through!
This morning, while reading the “Book of Awakening” by Mark Nepo, I came across this that helped me get into a good space around determination:
“As long as we see what has come to pass as being unfair, we’ll be a prisoner of what might have been.
I offer what has surprised me in my pain: that life is not fair, but unending in its capacity to change us; that compassion is fair and feeling is just; and that we are not responsible for all that befalls us, only for how we receive it and for how we hold each other up along the way.” (End quote)
If we are holding onto the things we feel are unfair, May we learn Torah and use these parts of our lives to change us. May we receive what we are given and hold one another up along our journeys!!!
This weeks Parsha is ‘Emor which means “speak.”
The Chumash I’m reading expands on this: Emor means “speak to the children and educate them.” More precisely it means to speak softly.
We start the portion with mitzvahs specifically directed towards the priests.
1. Priests shouldn’t become ritually impure through contact with a dead body- when there are others who can tend to the burial.
2. The exception to the mitzvah above is when the priest’s wife, who is his closest relative, his mom or dad, his son, his daughter, his brother, his virgin sister died. He must make himself ritually impure to bury them.
Ok stop. Let’s ask the question – why no “non-virgin” sister? That seems problematic.
And it might be. But I also reflect on the culture at the time; that the woman’s husband would be the one to become ritually impure instead of the priest. The idea was only when needed should the priest become ritually impure.
That’s my thought. I could be wrong though. I’d love other thoughts.
Next:
3. A husband should not make himself ritually impure for a wife who violated his sacred character (because as a priest, he was forbidden to Marry her). However this only applies if there are others to do the burial.
4. The priests should not make bald patches on their heads as a sign of mourning
Interesting visual of Monks for me as it seems like there is an intention there to do the opposite of this.
5. Priests should not shave the extremities of their beards
6. They should not make scratches in their flesh.
7. Even against their will, the court may force priests to be holy to their God.
Wait. Hold up. How can you force someone to be holy?
Rabbi Abraham Samuel Benjamin Sofer writes this:
The verse reads literally, “You should sanctify him, for he offers up the food -offering of your God” You learn here that a man’s sanctity does not necessarily depend on his intelligence or righteousness; it comes because God gives him sacred tasks to fulfil. You respect a priest because he fulfils his mission, presenting food-offerings to God.”
Ok. That makes a little more sense.
8. Priests may not marry an immoral woman (who has had forbidden relations), nor a woman who (was born from a union which) violated the sacred character of the priesthood. Not May they marry a woman who is divorced from her husband., for each priest is holy to his God.
Now. I will say this. The Torah allows for divorce- and that is interesting to me. It just prevents divorce from connecting to holiness and righteousness as a priest.
9. If a priest wants to marry a divorcee; force him to be holy (see note above).
10. If a priest’s married daughter violates her sacred character through adultery, she violates the sacred character of her father. She should be burned in fire.
Ok. Stop here. I’ll confess. That’s hard for me to swallow.
Burning a daughter in fire because she committed adultery?
Ok. Here’s my thoughts. First. We are talking about the priesthood. So this was a specific family in the house of Israel. It was a small portion of the entire family of Israel. This was not the expectation of everyone.
The Torah is clear that adultery is bad. Cheating and breaking marriage vows is extremely problematic. It would seem in the priesthood, they are not “above the law” but they are held to a higher standard.
There is a leadership principle we can glean from all of this. How often in our society do we see our leaders think they are “above the law” meaning the laws don’t apply to them. The Torah is saying quite the opposite. Not only do the mitzvahs apply, they are applied with a higher standard than others.
I think we are going to see this further expanded as we close the portion today learning about the high priest:
For the high priest;
1. When the high priest is mourning, he should not leave his hair uncut for thirty days or tear his garments
2. He should not come under the same roof as any dead bodies
3. He should not make himself ritually impure to bury his father or his mother (if there are others who can tend to the matter)
4. He should not leave the sanctuary for the funeral of his parents. He can continue to carry out his service in the sanctuary.
5. Finally- he should marry a woman who is a virgin. He may not marry a widow, divorcee, a woman who was born from a Union which violated the sacred character of the priesthood, or an immoral woman.
Why?
Because todays portion ends with this: “because I am God, who sanctifies him.”
I’m curious to what you all think! Leave a message in the comments!
No responses yet